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Inglourious Basterds Transcript

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
Let me see your foot.

BRIDGET

(GERMAN)
I beg your pardon?

1 31
Patting his lap.

COL.LANDA
Put your foot in my lap.

BRIDGET
Colonel, you embarrass me.

COL.LANDA
I assure you fraulein, my intention
is not to flirt.
Patting his lap more with more aggression.
The nervous fraulein, lifts up her strapy dress shoe enclosed
foot, and places it in the Colonel’s lap.
The Colonel, very delicately, unfastens the thin straps that
hold the frauleins shoe on her foot…
.He removes the shoe…
.Leaving only the frauleins bare foot…

THEN…
He removes from his heavy SS coat pocket, the pretty dress shoe
the fraulein left behind at La Louisiane…
He slips it on her foot…
.it fits like a glove.
Bridget knows she’s BUSTED.
Col.Landa smiles and says in ENGLISH;

COL.LANDA
What’s that American expression…
“if the shoe fits…you must wear it”.
He removes her foot from his lap.

BRIDGET

(GERMAN)
What now Colonel?

COL LANDA

(GERMAN)
Do you admit you treachery?
She stares defiant daggers into him.

1314

BRIDGET

(GERMAN)
The only thing I will admit to, is
resisting you…

(ENGLISH)
Sons-a-bitches..

(GERMAN)
.to my last breath.

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
“Resist to your last breath”?

SUDDENLY…
Hans LUNGES forward, putting his strong mitts around Bridget
Von Hammersmarks lily white delicate neck, and with all the
violence of a Lion in mid-pounce, SQUEEZES with all his MIGHT.
Bridgets face turns tomato RED, as the VEINS in her face
BULGE, and her esophagus is CRUSHED in his GRIP.
With a violent YANK, he JERKS her TO THE FLOOR. She TUMBLES
out of the chair, Landa never releasing his GRIP around her
throat. Nov fully on top of her, he BEARS DOWN, SQUEEZING THE
VERY LIFE OUT OF HER. Every thing he has, he brings to bear on
the elegant ladies neck.
Then, to finally finish her off, he begins BANGING THE BACK OF

HER HEAD, HARD AGAINST THE FLOOR…

BANG!

BANG!

BANG?
She’s dead.
He releases the grip around her throat. His hands are

TREMBLING…
He rises.
Strangling the very life out of somebody with your bear hands,
is the most violent act a human being can commit.
Also, only humans strangle, the opposable thumbs being quite
important part of the endeavor. As Hans Landa stands, the
sheer violence he had to call on to accomplish this task,
still surges through him. He tries to gain control of the
trembling, that is rippling through his body. He takes out a
silver SS FLASK(filled with peach schnapps), and knocks back
a couple of swigs. He holds his hand out in front of him. The
TREMBLING is beginning to subside. He picks up the telephone.

139-
Into the phone in German he says;

COL.LANDA
Inform The Fuhrer the audience has
taken there seats, and we’re ready
to begin.
Step one, in Hans master plan, done.
He then dials another number…

INT – LOBBY – NIGHT
Aldo in the lobby…

WHEN…
.he’s JUMPED by the SIX NAZI USHERS…
He’s THROWN ROUGHLY to the ground face first. Like the modern
day Secret Service, within seconds, his wrists are handcuffed
behind his back, he’s searched, they find the BOMB attached to
his ankle, it’s removed, a BLACK CLOTH BAG is pulled over his
head, then he’s hoisted up, and RUSHED out of the building.
This happens in mere seconds, and quietly too, no one in the
auditorium is none the wiser…

INT – AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
,including Donowitz and Hirschberg, sitting amongst the
master race, waiting for showtime.

EXT – CINEMA – NIGHT
The Six Nazi Soldiers, hustle the hooded Aldo, down the red
carpet, then into the alley besides the cinema.
Aldo’s put up against a wall.
Inside the black hood, he’s SCREAMING every insulting thing
about Germany, Germans, German food, German
shepherd… anything.

COL.LANDA’S VOICE(OS)
Shut up!
The faceless black hood does.
Col.Landa, now standing directly in front of his hooded
prisoner, says in ENGLISH;

COL.LANDA
As Stanley said to Livingston;
Lt.Aldo Raine, I presume?

I ‘to.

LT. ALDO
Hans Landa?

COL.LANDA
You’ve had a nice long run, Aldo.
Alas, your now in the hands of the
SS. My hands to be exact. And they’ve
been waiting along time, to touch you.
He reaches out with his finger, and lightly touches Aldo’s
face right in the middle of the hood.
Aldo’s head VIOLENTLY FLINCHES.

COL.LANDA
Caught ya flinching.
In German, he orders the men put Aldo in the back of a truck.
Aldo, bound, and bagged, is put in the truck. Also in the
truck is Utivich, wearing a makeshift chauffeurs uniform,
bound, and bagged like the Lieutenant.
The Truck drives off.
Col.Landa turns around, and SEES FROM A DISTANCE, Hitlers
motorcade pull up to the cinema.. Then the Fuhrer, Goebbels,
Francesca, and the rest of the entourage, make there way down
the red carpet into the cinema.
Landa smiles.

EXT TRUCK (MOVING) – NIGHT
We see the truck leaving the city of Paris, under the veil of
night.
We also seem to be leaving the drama of Operation Kino.

INT – TRUCK(MOVING) – NIGHT
The two hooded prisoners, bounce along in the back of the
truck.
Utivich, is crying inside his hood.

LT.ALDO
Utivich?

UTIVICH
Is that you Lieutenant?

LT. ALDO
Yep.

lyl.

UTIVIC}I
Do you know what happened to Donny?
Hirchberg? The woman?

LT.ALDO
No I do not.

UTIVICH
Lieutenant, sorry I’m crying.

LT. ALDO
Nothin to be sorry about, son.
This bag, get to anyone.

UTIVICH
Not exactly John Wayne, am I?

LT.ALDO
John Waynes a pampered movie star.
He burst into tears, if his cook,
busts his yoke at breakfast. Just
try puttin a bag over his head, and
hear what kinda sounds he makes.
Utivich, giggles through the tears.

LT.ALDO
I just want you to know, son, I was
real proud of you tonight. Learnin
how to drive overnight. Driving in
that Limo line. You was in the hot
seat, son, and you stood up real good.
Utivich Cries LOUDER.
Aldo takes his foot, finds Utivichs foot, and places his foot
on top.
The TOUCH has a slight calming effect on Utivich.
In the darkness, Utivich has reclaimed his dignity.

EXT- COUNTRY TAVERN – NIGHT
The truck pulls up to a small tavern outside of Paris(not La
Louisaiane),
The two hooded prisoners, are walked inside the establishment.

INT – COUNTRY TAVERN – NIGHT
The hooded men are lead into the closed for business, but open
for something else, rustic tavern.

0The Nazi Guards, unlock the handcuff, then sit them down inchairs.
Then, simultaneously, the hoods are YANKED OFF.
The two prisoners, are seated at a table, in what they can now
see, is a rustic tavern. On the table is one telephone, one
bottle of Chianti, and three glasses. And on the opposite end
of the table, sits Colonel Hans Landa.
A NAZI SOLDIER sits posted at a impressive looking two way
radio set up in the tavern.
Colonel Lands starts in right away at the two baffled,
discombobulated American soldiers.
They will only speak ENGLISH in the scene.

COL.LANDA
Italian? Really?

(BEAT)
What could you have possibly been
thinking?

LT. ALDO
Well, I speak alittle Italian –

COL.LANDA
I speak a little Tagalog, but I
wouldn’t begin to presume I could
pass for Filipino. Don’t get me
wrong, I understand you were in a
pickle, what with you losing your
Germans. And I have nothing but
admiration for improvisation.
Still…. Chico Marx is more
convincing. if the three of you had
shown up to the premiere dressed
in womans attire, it would have been
more convincing.
Landas eyes go to the Two Nazi Guards behind the prisoners.

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
You may leave us. But stay alert
outside.
They exit, leaving the Colonel, the Lieutenant, the
Private and a German Radio Man in the corner.

“43′

COL.LANDA
So your Aldo the Apache?

LT. ALDO
So your The Jew Hunter?

COL.LANDA
Jew Hunter, (pfuit), I’m a detective.
A damn good detective. Finding
people is my specialty. So naturally,
I worked for the Nazi’s finding people.
And yes, some of them were Jews.
But Jew Hunter? Just the name that stuck.

UTIVICH
Well you do hafts admit, it is
catchy.

COL.LANDA
Do you control the nicknames, your
enemies bestow on you? Aldo the
Apache and The Little Man?

UTIVICH
What do you mean, The Little Man?

COL.LANDA
The Germans nickname for you.

UTIVICH
The Germans nickname for me is, The
Little Man?

COL.LANDA
Or “The Little One, ether one means you.
And as if to make my point, I’m
a little surprised how tall you
were in real life. I mean, your a
little fellow. But not circus midget
little, as your reputation would
suggest.

LT.ALDO
Where is my men? Where is Bridget
Von Hammersmark?

COL.LANDA
Bridget Von Hammersmark. Oh I’m sure
she’s in whatever, big bubbling
cesspool in hell, the devil reserves
for traitors of her ilk.

COL. LANDA

(COR’T)
Well, lets just say, she got what
she deserved. And when you purchase
friends like Bridget Von Hammersmark,
you get what you pay for.
Now as far as your Pisanos,
Sgt.Donowitz, and Pt.Hirschberg-

LT. ALDO
How do you know our names?

COL.LANDA
Lt.Aldo, if you don’t think I wouldn’t
interrogate every single one of your
swastika marked survivors… .?
We simply aren’t operating on the
level of mutual respect I assumed.
Now, back to the whereabouts of your
two Italian saboteurs. At this
moment, both Hirschberg, and
Donowitz, should be sitting in the
very seats we left them in. Seats,
0023 and 0024, if my memory serves.
Explosives, still around
there ankle, still ready to
explode. And your mission, some
would call a terrorist plot, as of
this moment, is still a go.
The two Basterds don’t believe this. It can’t be true.

LT. ALDO
That’s a pretty exciting story.
What’s next, Eliza on the ice?

COL.LANDA
However, all I have to do, is pick
pick up that phone right there.
Inform the cinema, and your plans
kupet.

LT. ALDO
IF, their still there, and IF their
still alive, and that’s one big IF,
there ain’t no way, you gonna take
them boys without settin off them
bombs.

I R.T.

COL.LANDA

M
I have no doubt, and yes, some
Germans will die., and yes, it will
ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels
will be very very very mad at you
for what you’ve done to his big night.
But you won’t get Hitler, you won’t
get Goebbels, you won’t get Gering,
and you won’t get Boorman. And you
need all four to end the war.

(PAUSE)
But if I don’t pick up that phone,
right there, you may very well get
all four. And if you get all four,
you end the war…tonight.
The Nazi Colonel lifts up the bottle of Chianti, and fills
three glasses. As he pours, he says;

COL.LANDA
So gentlemen, lets discuss the
prospect of ending the war-tonight.
All three have their Chianti filled glasses.

COL.LANDA
So the way I see it, since Hitlers
death, or possible rescue, rests
solely on my reaction…If I do
nothing …it’s as if I’m causing his
death, even more then yourselves.
Would you agree?

LT. ALDO
I guess so.

COL.LANDA
How about you Uitivich?

UITIVICH
I guess so too.

COL.LANDA
Good, we more or less, all agree.
Gentlemen, I have no intention, of
Killing Hitler, and killing Goebbels,
and Killing Gerring, and killing
Boorman, not to mention winning the
war single handedly for the allies,
only later, to find myself standing
before a Jewish tribunal.

I q
Now they get it.

COL.LANDA
If you want to win the war, tonight,
We have to make a deal.

LT.ALDO
What kinda deal?

COL.LANDA
The kind you wouldn’t have the
authority to make. However, I’m sure
this mission of yours, has a
commanding officer? A General, I’m
betting. For ..

(THINKING)
.O.S.S. would be my guess.
Aldo’s eyebrows reveal that was a good guess.

COL.LANDA
Oooh, that’s a bingo. Is that the
way you say it, That’s a bingo?

LT.ALDO
You just say, bingo.

COL.LANDA
Bingo! How fun. But I digress, where
were we? Oh yes, make a deal. Over
there is a very capable two way
radio. And sitting behind it, is a
more then capable radio operator,
named Herrman. Get me somebody on
the other end of that radio with the
power of the pen, to authorize my
– Let’s call it, the terms of my
conditional surrender, if that taste
better going down.

BACK TO THE PREMIERE
Shosanna in the booth, she brings down the lights.
In the packed, excited auditorium, the house lights go down.
CU CURTAIN SWITCH, she flips it.
In the auditorium, the RED VELVET CURTAINS part.
Shosanna, throws the lever on the first projector.

I q7 .
The PROJECTOR BULB goes HOT WHITE, PROJECTING A BEAM…
FILM REELS rotate…
35mm FILM moves through the projectors film gate…
The opening seal of a film by The THIRD REICH flickers on the

SCREEN…
Goebbels and Francesca watch…
Hitler watches…
Fredrick watches…
Donowitz and Hirschberg watch…
Shosanna, in the booth, watches through the little window…
The CAMERA PANS OFF of Shosanna, to the clearly marked film
can, REEL FOUR. The SURPRISE REEL.

BACK TO LANDA AND THE HASTERDS
Landa, with radio headphones over his ears, and a microphone
in his hand, talks to the UNSEEN/UNHEARD American Brass on the
other end.

COL.LANDA
.So, when the military history of
this night is written, it will be
recorded, that I was part of
“Operation Rino” from the very
beginning, as a double agent.
Anything I’ve done in my guise as a
SS Colonel, was sanctioned by The
O.S.S., as a necessary evil to
establish my cover with The Germans.
And it was my placement, of
Lt.Raines dynamite in Hitler and
Goebbels opera box that assured
there demise. By the way, that last
part is actually true.

FLASH ON
Landa placing bomb in Goebbels and Francesca’s opera box.

BACK TO LANDA

COL.LANDA
I want my full military pension and
benefits under my proper rank.
I want to receive the congregational
medal of honor, for my invaluable
assistance in the toppling of the Third
Reich.

He looks over and sees Aldo and Uitvich watching the one sided
conversation.

COL.LANDA
In fact, I want all the members of
“Operation Kino” to receive the
congregational medal of honor. Full
citizenship for myself – but that
goes without saying. And I would
like the United States of America to
purchase property for me on
Nantuckett island, as a reward for
all the countless lives I’ve saved
by bringing the tyranny of the
National Socialist party to a
swifter then imanged end. Do you
have all that, sir?

(PAUSE)
I look forward to seeing you face to
face as well, sir.

(PAUSE)
He’s right here.
The Colonel hands the headphones and microphone to Aldo.

LT.ALDO
Yes, sir?
We HEAR the VOICE on the other end of the radio, give Aldo his

ORDERS;

RADIO VOICE(OS)
Colonel Landa will put you and
Private Uitivich in a truck as
prisoners. Then he and his radio
operator, will get in the truck,
drive to our lines. Upon crossing
our lines, Colonel Landa and his
man will surrender to you. You will
then take over driving of the truck,
a bring them straight to me for
debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?

LT.ALDO
Yes, sir.
The Conversation is over, he puts the radio down.
The three men look at one another.
Landa picks up his wine.

Ito .

COL.LANDA
So I suppose the only thing left to
do is lift a glass, and toast to
Donowitz and Hirschbergs success.
You too Herrman, come over here.
The four men, Col.Hans Landa, Lt.Aldo Raine, Pvt.Smithson
Uitivich, and Herrman, lift up four glasses of wine.

COL.LANDA
Gentlemen, To history, and it’s
Witnesses.

CHEERS.

BACK TO THE PREMIERE

WE CUT TO THE B/W FILM ON SCREEN.
Fredrick Zoller, playing himself, is in a ornamental tower in
a Russian village, picking off RUSSIAN SOLDIER’s below.

A RUSSIAN GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
peering at the German Private through binoculars. He lowers
the long range glasses, and confers with one of his OFFICERS.

GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY

(RUSSIAN)
What’s the death toll?

OFFICER

(RUSSIAN)
47, so far.

WE HEAR A SHOT.

OFFICER

(RUSSIAN)
48. General, I implore you, we must
destroy that tower!

GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY

(RUSSIAN)
That tower is one of the oldest, and
most beautiful structures in Russia.
I won’t be responsible for turning a
thousand years of history into dust!
A BRAVE RUSSIAN SOLDIER, tries to run between two buildings.
Zoller, gets him.
Then proceeds to pick him apart, one single bullet at a time.

IL

ISO.

SHOSANNA IN PROJECTION BOOTH
She removes “REEL 4″ (The Special Shosanna Reel), and prepares
it on the 2nd Projector. Reel3, on the first Projector,
playing now, is halfway through. In a few short minutes, it’s
going to be show time.
Marcel says to Shosanna in FRENCH, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

MARCEL
It’s time. I should go lock the auditorium,
and take my place behind the screen.
This is the last time they will ever see each other, too much
to say. He holds her in his arms and lays a one kiss before I
die wet one on her.

DONOWITZ AND HIRSCHBERG
sit in their seats watching the movie, surrounded by DRESS
UNIFORM NAZI’S. They’ve developed a dopey way of communicating
with each other in this hostel environment.
Basically, speaking English like it were gibberish Italian.
They say English words, only adding a “I”, or a “A”, or a “O”,
to the end of it. And saying it in a exaggerated Italian
accent, complete with pantomimes.
Donowitz leans into Hirschberg, and says in a wispier;
They speak in ITALIA-ISH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

SGT.DONOWITZ

(ITALIA-ISH)
I-a Go-a Toilet-a, Set-ta Boom-a.
(I go to the toilet and set the bomb)
When-a I-a Go-a, you-a Set-ta Boom-a.
(When I go, you set your bomb)
Hirschberg indicates/pantomimes, he can’t set his bomb
surrounded by all these Nazi’s.
Donowitz, pantomimes crossing his legs, setting bomb on ankle
in his seat. Then getting up, and dropping it in the back of
the auditorium, in the dark.
Hirschberg doesn’t get it.

HIRSCHBERG
What-a?
(What?)
Donny pantomimes again, more exaggerated, and with less
patience.

HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, affirmative)

SGT.DONOWITZ
They-o Look-o Screen-a, Not-o You-a.
(They’re looking at the screen, not you.)

HIRSCHBERG
Fantastic-o.

(FANTASTIC)

SGT.DONOWITZ
After-teri, Set-ta, Five-o Moment-o
(Pointing to

WATCH)
You-a, Pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five
minutes, and get out of here)

HIRSCHBERG
What-o?
(What?)

SGT.DONOWITZ
Confuse-i, confuss-i, confuss-i.
(Confused, confused, confused.)
What-a, and-o what-o, same-o?
(I thought “What-a” meat “What”,
does “What-O” mean “What”, as well?)

HIRSCHBERG
Oh-o, sorr-o, I-o ment-a “What-a”.
(Oh, sorry, I ment what.)

SGT.DONOWITZ
After-teri, you-a set-ta boom-a,
five-o moment-o, you-a, fuck-o Pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five
minutes and get the fuck out of here.)

HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, Affirmative)

SGT.DONOWITZ
Good-a, Luck-a.
(Good luck.)

15Z.
Donowitz stands from his seat, and walks out of the dark
auditorium, into the lobby. The Nazi Guards/Ushers are gone,
the lobby is completely empty. Seeing the STAIRS leading down
to the WATER CLOSET/BATHROOM, he descends them to plant
the Boom-a, I mean, The Bomb.

DESCENDING THE STAIRS
leading to the Water closet. Like a lot of old cinema’s, not
only was the water closet located under the auditorium, you
had to pass through a rather large SMOKING LOUNGE to get to
it. In the Smoking Lounge are TEN NAZI ENLISTED MEN, the
Guards/Ushers for the event, smoking and indulging in soldiers
gossip. They’re all in dress uniforms, and all are armed.
Donowitz, in his tuxedo, acts cool, and walks right through
them.
They look up, but don’t disturb there time off vibe.
Donny enters the big Water Closet. Except for ONE LONE NAZI
ENLISTED MAN at the urinal, it would appear as if
Donny has the whole wash room to himself.
He enters the privacy of a toilet stall, locks the door.

MARCEL IN LOBBY
He descends the stairs leading down from the projection booth,
into the empty lobby. He goes to one of the auditorium doors,
and peers inside.

WE SEE THE SCREEN AND THE AUDIENCE FROM MARCELS POV:
in the back of the room. The audience seems riveted to
Fredrick’s exploits on screen.
Marcel closes the door, and with a KEY, DEADBOLTS it SHUT.

INSIDE THE AUDITORIUM
WE PAN OFF THE SCREEN to Marcel, who locks the two doors on
ether side of the screen….due to curtains placed there, no
one notices Marcels actions.
Marcel then goes BEHIND THE SCREEN, WE SEE the IMAGE
(backward) of Fredricks sniper battle HUGE COVERING ENTIRE
SIDE ROOM …A PILE of over300nitrate FILM PRINTS, lay like a
junk pile, right behind the screen.
Sitting down in a wooden chair facing the screen, and
Pile-o-film, he lights up a cigarette, a absolute no-no in a
cinema of this era, but tonight, what does it matter?4.
He smokes, and waits for his cue to… .BURN IT DOWN!

)53.

FREDRICK IN OPERA BOX
along side Hitler, Goebbels, Francesca, and BOORMAN. On screen
the battle rages. He leans over and whispers something in
Goebbels ear, we can’t hear. Goebbels makes a very sympathetic
face (at least sympathetic for Goebbels), and says in German;

GOEBBELS
Perfectly understandable, dear boy.
You go now, and we’ll see you after
the show.
He exits the opera box. And walks to the projection booth
door. He raps on the door in a trying to be amusing way.
The door opens, just a little bit, Shosanna not friendly,
stares at him.
Be, as per usual, is all smiles and charm.
They speak in FRENCH, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

FREDRICK
Are you the manager, of this cinema?
I want my money back. That actor in
the movie stinks.
He laughs.

IV
She doesn’t even smile. She says, in all serious business;

SHOSANNA
What are you doing here?

FREDRICK
I came to visit you.

SHOSANNA
Can’t you see how busy I am?

FREDRICK
Then allow me to lend a assist.

SHOSANNA
Fredrick it’s not funny, you can’t
be here. This is your premiere, you
need to be out there with them.
As Fredrick prepares to tell his little tale, with all the
charm at his command, Shosanna listens, knowing the third reel
is just about over, and her big reel change is coming up.

FREDRICK
Normally, you would be.right.
And for all the other films I do,
I intend to endure evenings like
tonight, in the proper sprit.
However the fact remains, this film,
is based on my military exploits.
And in this case, my exploits
consisted of me killing many men.
Consequently, the part of the film
that’s playing now,… .I don’t like
watching this part.

SHOSANNA
Fredrick, I am sorry, but –

FREDRICK
– So, I thought, I’d come up here
and do what I do best, annoy you.
And from the look on your face, it
would appear I haven’t lost my touch.

DONNY IN TOILET
Sgt.Donowitz, with BOMB in his lap, sets the timer, six
minutes from now. He then places the bomb in the back of the
toilet tank.

CAMERA ON FLOOR OF WATER CLOSET
we see the tile of the floor stretch out before us. We see
Donny’s feet in the closed toilet stall. We HEAR, the OFF
SCREEN Nazi Enlisted Man, finish his piss. Then HIS SHOES WALK
THROUGH FRAME… .WE FOLLOW THEM TO… .The SINK…WE STAY ON
The Shoes …as WE HEAR The Soldier WASH HIS HANDS… THEN…
THE CAMERA RISES UP HIS PANT LEG…Till…WE”RE EYE LEVEL with
the German Soldier, with a ARMY CAP on his head, who’s
done washing his hands….THEN….The Soldier removes
his cap, brushes some bangs out of his face, and WE CAN SEE

THE SWASTIKA HAND CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD, UNDENIABLE MARK
OF THE BASTARDS. He SPLASHES some WATER ON HIS FACE, puts his
cap back on his head, and joins his comrades in the smoking
lounge. As he exits FRAME, he says to somebody OFF SCREEN;

SWASTIKA FOREHEAD

(GERMAN)
Hey Fritz, you owe me three cigarettes,
now pay up.

SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK
Fredrick still outside the doorway, and Shosanna, still baring
the way.

SHOSANNA
I have to get prepared for the reel
change.

FREDRICK
Let me do it?

SHOSANNA
No.

FREDRICK
Oh please, it’s been two years since
i’ve done a reel change.

SHOSANNA
I said, no.

FREDRICK
(Cute whine)
Come on, it’s my premiere.

SHOSANNA
Are you so use to the Nazi’s kissing
your ass, you’ve forgotten what the
word,°°No” means? No Fredrick, you
can’t come in here, now go away!
No subtitles for Fredrick needed this time, he gets it.
He does a one-armed PILE DRIVE PUSH on the door, knocking both
it OPEN, and Shosanna back into the room.
Fredrick, a different cat then we’ve seen up till now, enters
the booth, closing the door behind him, and LOCKING it.
The quite startled Shosanna, says to Fredrick;

SHOSANNA
Fredrick, you hurt me.

FREDRICK
Well, it’s nice to know you can feel
something. Even if it’s just physical
pain.
Fredrick steps forward…
Shosanna steps backwards…

FREDRICK
I’m not a man you say, “Go away”
to. There’s over three hundred
dead bodies in Russia, that if
they could, would testify to that.
After what I’ve done for you, you
disrespect me at your peril.

156.

BACK TO WASHROOM
The Swastika Forehead Soldier, get a light for his cigarette.
He takes a big drag.

SOLDIER’S POV:
He faces the washroom, and down that long throw, he sees Donny
emerge from the toilet stall. His tuxedo jacket is off, and
draped over his right hand. Sporting the white dress shirt,
and black tuxedo vest. He’s quite far away, so now he just
looks like some guy in a tux, who just finished taking a shit.
Donny walks toward us …

CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him get closer…

SOLDIER POV:
Donny gets closer…

CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him closer still…

SOLDIER POV:
Donny gets closer…

CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
begins to notice…

SOLDIER POV:
Donny getting closer, begins to notice, German soldier notice
him…

CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
now Donny is close enough for the Soldier to recognize. His
face SCREAMS;

SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
The Bear Jew!1!
The Soldier’s GUN is out of it’s holster, and rising toward
Donny’s chest…

WHEN…
Donny raises his right arm, with the tuxedo jacket on it, and
FIRES a GUN concealed under it.
HITTING Swastika Forehead in the chest…Who finishes raising
his GUN, FIRING HITTING Donny in the chest…
The Two Soldier’s FIRE INTO each other…. Till there weapons are
empty, and the two men lie dead on the floor.
The Nine other NAZI’S in the room, stand shocked at what just
happened in front of them.

Is”.

SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK IN PROJECTION BOOTH
Fredrick hears the gunshots below them, and turns towards the
door.

FREDRICK
What the hell was that?
While Fredrick’s back is turned, Shosanna takes a GUN out of
her pocket, and SHOOTS Fredrick THREE TIMES in the back…
..Be CRASHES HARD into the door, then FALLING FACE FIRST to
the floor…
Shosanna, gun in hand, looks out projection booth window into
the audience…
The ON SCREEN BATTLE rages so LOUDLY with GUNFIRE, that her
weapon didn’t stand a chance of being heard.
Her eyes go from the audience…
.up to the big screen…
.Which holds FREDRICK ZOLLER in a tight handsome CLOSE UP.
The Face on the silver screen, breaks the young girl’s
heart…
.She looks to his body, lying face down on the floor, blood
flowing from the holes she put in his back…
.His body moves a little, and he lets out a painful MOAN…
.DIEING though he is, at this moment, Fredrick is still

ALIVE…
Shosanna moves to him…
..She touches him, and he lets out another MOAN…
.She turns his body over on it’s back…
..he’s holding a LUGER in his hand…
.he FIRES TWICE…

BANG BANG
Two bullets HIT HER POINT BLANK IN THE CHEST…
THROWING HER against the wall, then FALLING FORWARD on her
knees to the floor…
..Fredrick, Luger still in hand, takes aim from the floor…

I,

.FIRES…
HITTING the bloody girl on the floor, in the thigh…
.SPINNING her BODY around in agony…
Like he did to the Russian on screen, he picks her apart, one
bullet at a time…

.FIRES…

BULLET BLOWS OFF HEEL OF HER FOOT…
Luger drops to floor, Fredrick DIES.
Our young French Jewish heroine, lies on the projection booth
floor, in a pool of her own blood, her body RIDDLED with
bullets, her nerve endings wracked with pain, CRIPPLED and

DIEING…

WHEN…
..the little bell on the 1st projector, starts to ring,
informing the projectionist, it’s time for The REEL CHANGE.
Dieing or not, if Shosanna intends to get her revenge, she’s
going to have to lift her ass off the floor, and execute this
fucking reel change.

CINEMA AUDITORIUM
The battle on screen continues waging. The audience is
riveted.
The FUHRER
watches, completely caught up in the dramatic spectacle.
He says to Goebbels in German;

HITLER
Extraordinary Joseph, simply
extraordinary. This is your finest
film yet.
Goebbels is beyond proud, he smiles to Francesca, who proudly
pats his hand.

PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna, bloody, crippled, and fucked, with great painful
effort, PULLS HERSELF OFF THE FLOOR…

AUDITORIUM
Hirschberg, sitting in his seat, SETS the BOMB on his ankle.
Then stands up, and begins scooting past everybody in his rows
knees.

PROJECTION BOOTH
like the German heroine in one of Riefenstahl’s mountain films,
Shosanna CLIMBS UP the 35mm film projector, like it was
Piz Palu…

FILM ON SCREEN
Private Zoller FIRING away from his perch. In the top far
right corner of The FRAME. WE SEE the 1st REEL CHANGE MARK…

PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna hanging on to projector, waiting for 2nd reel change
mark, it’s a agonizing effort…

BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel, smoking, waiting for his cue…

HIRSCHBERG
get out of his xow, and begins walking up the aisle in the
middle of the cinema towards the exit.

ON SCREEN
SERGIO LEONE CU FREDRICK, he SCREAMS to Russians below;

MOVIE ZOLLER
Who wants to send a message to
Germany?
In the top right of FRAME The 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON…

PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna TOSSES herself to the floor, as she THROWS THE CHANGE
OVER SWITCH on the 2nd Projector…

EX CU PROJECTOR BULB
BLASTING WHITE in our face.

SLOW NOTION

SHOSANNA FALLING…

EX CU 35MM FILM

MOVING…

SHOSANNA
HITS the DUSTY ground HARD, NOT in slow motion…

PROJECTOR BEAM

SHOOTS OUT OF LITTLE PROJECTION BOOTH WINDOW
hits screen.

CU SHOSANNA
on floor, eyes close, last breath blown into dusty projection
booth floor. Like her family befor her, dead from Nazi
bullets.

AUDITORIUM

ON THE SILVER SCREEN FREDRICKS EX CU

CUT TO

ON SILVER SCREEN MATCHING SHOSANNA EX CU
CAMERA in the exact same placement, same background (b/w sky),
SLIGHT LOW ANGLE LOOKING UP, so on screen Shosanna is looking
down on the Nazi’s, the way Fredrick was looking down on the
Russians. The way this HUGE IMAGE OF SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE stares
down the auditorium of Nazi’s, brings to mind Orwells “1984”
Big Brother.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
React.

HIRSCHBERG
standing in the middle of the aisle, turns towards the screen.
When he see’s Shosanna’s GIANT FACE, he’s gobsmacked.

BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel sitting in the chair, with his cigarette, before the

EVEN MORE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA.

SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE ON SCREEN
She stares down the packed house of Nazi’s, and says
in FRENCH;

SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
I have a message for Germany. I’m
interrupting your Nazi propaganda
horse shit, to inform you despicable
German swine, that your all going to
die.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
react.

HIRSCHBERG
react.

MARCEL
smiles.

SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
And I want you to look deep in the face
of The Jew who’s going to do it.

AUDITORIUM AUDIENCE
While the shocked German audience is transfixed to thescreen,
behind the heads of most of them…
The BOMB Landa set in Hitlers and Goebbels opera box…

EXPLODES.

BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS, HITLER, FRANCESCA, BOORMAN, and
propelling GOEBBELS, still in his theatre seat, across the
auditorium, into the opposite wall, and taking out a portion
of the ceiling as well.
The crowd reacts…
The explosion causes the huge chandelier from Versailles, to
topple from it’s jerry-rigged placement, and CRASH on to the
audience below…
ON SCREEN THE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA finishes her WAR CRY.

SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
My name is Shosanna Dreyfus, and this is
the face of Jewish Vengeance! Marcel,

BURN IT DOWN!

BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel takes his cigarette, and FLICKS IT into the pile of
nitrate film.
ON SCREEN SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE LAUGHS MANIACALLY at the
scrambling little Nazi’s, running in a panic, as FLAMES LIKE

OUT OF A GIANT BLAST FURNACE, BURST THROUGH SHOSANNAS FACE,
and CLIMB UP THE WALLS of the cinema.
The AUDIENCE
STAMPEDES towards the exits…

HIRSCHBERG
with bomb set on ankle, is caught in a massive Day of the
Locust SWARM OF BODIES…
People frantically pound on locked doors, trapping them to
there grizzly fate.
The FLAMES and FIRE spread through thr auditorium…
Hirschberg caught in people crunch, knows this is it.

HIS ANKLE BOMB GOES OFF
right underneath everybody in the room.
The effect this has on the people in the room, is very similar
to that of the effect a M-80blowing up in a ant hill, would
have on the ants. The auditorium is a literal red rain of legs,
arms, heads, torsos, and asses.

THEN…

DONOWITZ TOILET BOMB
BLOWS UP UNDERNEATH the auditorium.

16z.

COLLAPSING THE CINEMA, AND BLOWING OUT THE FRONT OF THE

THEATRE.
As MADAM MIMEUX’S CINEMA BURNS…
Theses SUBTITLES APPEAR ON SCREEN as if on a military

TELETYPE:

“OPERATION KINO A COMPLETE SUCCESS”.

FADE OUT

FADE UP

“HITLER DEAD. GOEBBELS DEAD. BOORMAN DEAD.

GERING DEAD. ZOLLER DEAD. MOST OF HIGH COMMAND

DEAD”

FADE OUT

FADE IN

“FOUR DAYS LATER, GERMANY SURRENDERS”

FADE OUT

FADE IN

“ONCE UPON A TIME IN NAZI…

OCCUPIED FRANCE”.

CUT TO

EXT — WOODS – MORNING
It’s a misty early morning, in the woodsy area. The German
truck, with Aldo and Uitvich in the back, and Landa and
Herrman in the front comes to stop.
LANDA and HERRMAN IN TRUCK CAB
Herrman, behind the wheel, tells Landa in German;

HERRMAN
These are the American lines, sir.
In the back of the truck, sit the two last remaining members
of The Basterds, Lt.Aldo Raine, and Prvt.Smithson Uitivich,
both with their hands cuffed behind there back.
Landa and Herrman appear at truck rear, says in ENGLISH;

COL.LANDA
Okay Gentlemen, you can climb down.

143
Aldo and Uitivich climb down from the truck.
Col.Landa indicates for Herrman to remove the handcuffs from
the two prisoners.
He does.

COL.LANDA
Herrman, hand them your weapon.
He does.
Col.Landa hands over his LUGER, and his very cool looking SS

DAGGER.

COL.LANDA
I am officially surrendering myself
over to you, Lt.Raine. We are your
prisoners.

LT.ALDO
Thank you very much Colonel. Uitivich,
cuff the Colonel’s hands behind his
back.

COL.LANDA
Is that really necessary?
As Uitivich cuffs the. Colonels hands behind his back, Aldo

SAYS;

LT.ALDO
I’m a slave to appearances.
Then Aldo takes the Luger, and SHOOTS HERRMAN DEAD.
The bound Col.Landa is appalled.

COL.LANDA
Are you mad? What have you done? I made
a deal with your General for that mans
life!

LT. ALDO
Yeah, they made that deal, but they
don’t give a fuck about him, they
need you.

COL.LANDA
You’ll be shot for this.

t 6 q.

LT.ALDO
Raw I don’t think so, more like I’ll
be chewed out. I’ve been chewed out
before. You know, Uitvich and myself,
heard that deal you made with the Brass.
End the war tonight? I’d make that deal.
How bout you Uitivich, you make that
deal?

UITIVICH
I’d make that deal.

LT.ALDO
I don’t blame ya. Damn good deal.
And that pretty little nest ya
feathered for yourself. Well, if
your willing to barbecue the whole
high command, I suppose that’s worth
certain considerations. Now I don’t
care about you gettin pensions,
merit badges, ticker tape parades,
who gives a damn, let’s all go home.
But .1do have one question?
When you go to your little place on
Nantuckett Island, I image you gonna
take off that handsome looking SS
uniform of yours, ain’t ya?
For the first time in the movie, Col.Landa doesn’t-respond.

LT.ALDO
That’s what I thought. Now that…
.I can’t abide. How bout you
Uitivich, can you abide it?

UITIVICH
Not one damn bit, sir.

LT.ALDO
I mean if I had my way, you’d wear
that goddamn uniform for the rest of
your pecker suckin life. But I’m
aware that’s ain’t practical. I mean
at some point ya gotta hafta take it
off.
He opens LandaSS DAGGER, and holds the BLADE in front of Hans
face.

LT.ALDO
So I’m gonna give you a little
somethin you can’t take off.

CUT TO

16c.

CU COL.LANDA
The Dagger has just completed carving a swastika deep into his
forehead.

COL.LANDA’S POV:
On the ground, looking up at Aldo, bloody knife in hand, who
straddles him.. And Uitivich, who’s next to him. The two
Basterds admire Aldo’s handiwork.

LT.ALDO
You know somethin Uitivich, I think
this just might be my masterpiece.

END

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