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Inglourious Basterds Transcript

LT.HICOX
Well, -Major –

BRIDGET
– Major –

MAJOR HELLSTROM
– Shut up slut.
(To Hicox)
You were saying?

LT.HICOX
I was saying that makes two of us. I’ve
had a gun pointed at your balls since
you sat down.

SGT.STIGLITZ
That makes three of us.

UNDERTABLE
We See all three guns pointed at appropriate crotches. As well
as Bridget’s legs, right besides the Nazi Major’s. Her pretty
gams are sure to be chewed up in the possible crossfire.

SGT.STIGLITZ
And at this range, I’m a real
Fredrick Zoller.
Hugo alsobrings out his dagger, and sitcks it in the table top.

MAJOR HELLSTROM
Hummmmm … Looks like we have a bit
of a sticky situation here.

LT. H ICOX
What’s going to happen, Major, is your
going to stand up, and walk out that
door with us.

MAJOR HELLSTROM
No no no no no no, I don’t think so.
I’m afraid you and I both know, no matter
what happens to anybody else in this room,
the two of us aren’t going anywhere.

“7 .

MAJOR HELLSTROM
(pointing behind
him at the table)
Too bad about them though. They seem
like a likeable
(referring to
Stiglitz and Wicki)
You two will have to shoot them.

BRIDGET
Then Major, i implore you. For the
sake of those German troops, will
you please leave with us?

MAJOR HELLSTROM
Oh Bridget, your concern for German
troops, gets me
(Pointing at
his heart)
.right here. You mean for the sake
your whore legs, don’t you? You can’t
afford to get any bullet holes in them,
your not finished spreading them for
all the Hollywood Jews.
Lt.Hicox picks up his thirty-three year old single malt
scotch, and says;

LT.HICOX

(ENGLISH)
‘Well, if this is it old boy, I hope
you dont mind if I go out speaking
the kings?

MAJOR HELLSTROM

(ENGLISH)
By all means, Cap’t.
The English film critic, commando, picks up the thirty-three
the Nazi Major bought him, and says;

LT.HICOX
There’s a special rung in hell reserved
for people who waste good scotch.
And seeing as I might be rapping on
the door momentarily…
He downs the stuff.

LT.HICOX
(To the Nazi

MAJOR)
I must say, damn good stuff, sir.

He puts the glass down.

LT.HICOX
Now about this, “Pickle”, we find
ourself’s in. It would appear, there’s
only thing left for you to do.

MAJOR HELLSTROM

(ENGLISH)
And what would that be?

LT.HICOX
Stiglitz.

STIGLITZ
Say, auf wiedersehen to your balls!

STIGLITZ
FIRES into HELLSTROM’S BALLS…
As does HICOX, HITTING not only Hellstrom, but BRIDGET as
well.

HELLSTROM
FIRES into HICOX’S BALLS and KNEE CAPS.

STIGLITZ
then JUMPS over the table, and begins STABBING HELLSTROM with the

DAGGER.
HICOX FALLS to the floor….DEAD.
BRIDGET FALLS to the floor.,SHOT.

WICKI
brings his weapon out from underneath the table, and BEGINS
FIRING across at The GERMANS at the table, who unaware, were
still PLAYING THE GAME.

WINNETOU
is SHOT IN THE BACK, before he even knew what was happening.
EDGAR WALLACE and The FRENCH BARMAID
are both SHOT by WICKI.

SGT.POLA NEGRI
FALLS to the floor in the confusion.
FEMALE SGT.BEETHOVEN and STIGLITZ bring their guns toward each
other and FIRE. They BOTH TAKE and GIVE each other so many
BULLETS, it’s almost romantic when they collapse DEAD on the
floor.

I 09.
WICKI and HATA HARI
both ON THERE atMATA AARI is
HIT THREE TIM atally)G

SGT.POLA NEGRI
comes the a CHINE GUNN,
whole thehroom;,BWIPI NGERIC.
The SHOOTING STOPS…the SMOKE caused by the gunfire … starts
to DISSIPATE… The only one in the room left alive, is the
young German Sgt, with the machine gunn.
WE HEAR the feet of the soldiers outside, reach the basement
entrance.
The door opens…
, .The German Sgt, sends FIFTY BULLETS in the doors
direction…
No one goes through it.
What we have here, is a rabbit hole like situation. No one
inside is getting out, no one outside is getting in.
The young German Sgt, YELLS in ENGLISH, to the outside;

GERMAN SGT
You outside! Who are you? British,
American, what?
Aldo’s Voice YELLS down the hole;

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Were American’s 1 What are you?

GERMAN SGT
I’m a German you idiot!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
You speak English pretty good for a
German!

GERMAN SGT
I agree! So let’s talk!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Okay, talk!

GERMAN SGT
I’m a father! My baby was born today
in Frankfurt! Five hours ago! His name
is Max! We were in here drinking and
celebrating! They’re the ones that
came in shooting and killing!
It’s not my fault!

Ito.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Okay, okay, it wasn’t your fault!
What’s your name soldier?

GERMAN SGT
Wilhelm!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
That’s the same name as one of the
guys you just killed!

WILHELM
They attacked us!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Okay Wilhelm… .is anybody alive
on our side?

WILHELM
No!
We hear a VOICE OFF SCREEN, yell out;

BRIDGET’S VOICE(OS)
I’m alive!
Wilhelm spins in the direction of the voice.

STILL

R
On the floor, with a bullet in her BLOODY LEG, lies the
alive Bridget Von Hammersmark.
The German Sgt points the muzzle of the machine gunn at
the German celebrity; with hate in his eyes.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Who’s that?

WILHELM
(To BRIDGET,

LOW)
Make a sound whore, and I spit!
Meaning the muzzle.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Wilhelm, who is that?

WILHELM
is the girl on your side?
Pause.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Which girl?

WILHELM
1 Who do you think, Von Hammersmark!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Yeah, she’s oar’s!

WILHELM
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
I thought so. So you run with the
American’s now, huh? Now times are
bad?

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Is she okay?

WILHELM
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
You despicable traitor.
(To Aldo)
She’s been shot, but she’s alive.
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
For now.
We hear The Basterds Curse their luck Off Screen.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Okay Wilhelm, what’d ya say we
make a deal?

WILHELM
What’s your name?

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Aldo. Wilhelm, can I call yap Willi?

WILHELM
Yes.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
So Willi, you know we could lob three
or four or five or six grenades down
there, and your little war story ends
here. But good fer you, bad fer her,
you die, she dies. So what say we
make a swap?

WILLI
Keep talking?

112.

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Okay, Willi here’s my deal! You let
me and one of my men come down to
take the girl away! And we take the
girl, and leave! That simple, Willi!
You go your way, we go ours! And little
Max, gets to grow up playing catch with
his daddy! So what’ya say, Willi, we
got a deal?
Willi thinks…
Bridget watches Willi think…

WILLI
Aldo?

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
I’m here Willi!

WILLI
I want to trust you…. But howcanI?

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
What choice ya got?

WILLI
I could kill the girl!

ALDO’S VOICE(OS)
Well now, Willi, that’s true enough.
But something you need to know, so
you don’t get the wrong idea. Ain’t
none of us give a fuck bout that
girl. But, admittedly, if you kill
her, it would fuck up our plans. But
you’ll be dead by then anyway, so
what’d you care? And lets not
forget that little gatzenjammer
Max, growin up without a pop. So in
the spirit of gettin you home to
him, we got a deal, Willi?

WILLI
Okay Aldo, I’m going to trust you!
Come down, no guns!
Aldo and Hirschberg come down the stairs, showing open hands.
Willi keeps his machine gunn trained on them.
Aldo with his hands up, says;

A

ALDO
Hey Willi, what’s with the machine
gunny I thought we had a deal?

WILLI
We do have a deal, now git the girl
and go.

ALDO
Not so fast, Willi, we only have a
deal, we trust each other. A Mexican
stand off ain’t trust.

WILLI
You need guns on me for it to be
a Mexican stand off.

ALDO
you got guns on us, you decide to
shoot, we’re dead. Up top, they got
grenades, they drop ‘em down here,
your dead. That’s a Mexican stand
off, and that wasn’t the deal.

WILLI
Just take that fucking traitor, and
go! See? Now your down here
Now you get tricky – t

ALDO
– No tricks!- Ain’t nobody gittin
tricky, Willi; I swear to god, I’m
too damn dumb toget tricky. But

(MEANING

HIRSCHBERG)
him and I lived upto the deal. We
came down without guns. Now it’s
your turn. No trust,no deal.
Willi pointing gunn at them.,,, -thinking…

ALDO
i know your scarred. I’m scarred,
he’s scarred, we’re all scarred.
So what’s it gonnabe Willi?
Ether we got a deal, or you might
as well just shoot us now.
Willi decides…
He puts the machine gunn down on the bar.

WILLI
Fine. Take that fucking traitor and
get her out of my sight.

ALDO
Danka, Willi, danka. okay, Hirschbeg,
you grab her shoulder –

WHEN…
From behind Aldo and Hirschberg, Bridget lifts up Major
Hellstroms Luger, and EMPTIES the remaining bullets into
Sgt.Willi, who FALLS to the floor, DEAD.
Aldo and Hirscberg spin around shocked.

ALDO
You fuckin bitch! I had a deal with
that man!
From the floor, the bloody, sweaty, and in excoriating pain
(she’ll probably lose that leg), German movie star, says to the
two American soldier’s she’s just meeting for the first time;

BRIDGET
He was a enemy soldier, who knew who
I was. He couldn’t live.

3
Hirscberg loses control, and RICKS the woman on the floor,
hard in the side.

HIRSCHBERG
I ought’a beat your fuckin head in

ALDO
Stop it. Just pick her up, and get
that bitch outta here.

HIRSCHBERG
Aldo, she just-

ALDO
– She’s right.

HIRSCHBERG
What?

ALDO
I said, she’s right. He was a Nazi
soldier. If he lived, he would doomed
the mission.

ELI

)Is,.

ALDO

61

(CON’T)
Don’t mean I like it, don’t mean I
like her, but she’s right. Now as
Willi said, “take this fuckin
traitor, and get ‘er outta my sight”.

EXT – LA LOUISIANE – NIGHT
Hirschberg, carrying Fraulein Von Hammersmark, and Aldo emerge
from the bowels of the basement.
Bridget points at a fancy black sedan, telling them it’s her’s.
Aldo, Hirschberg, Bridget, Donowitz, and Utivich pile in, and
take off.

INT – FRENCH HOUSE IN COUNTRY (BEDROOM)- NIGHT
NOTE:In this entire scene, no French spoken will be SUBTITLED.
A OLD MAN lies asleep under the covers of his blankets, in his
bed, in his bedroom…

WHEN…
OFF SCREEN the sound of a DOOR BEING KICKED OPEN…
r .The SOUND of what sounds like EIGHT DOGS BARKING …. and the
sound of FEET RUNNING TOWARDS US…
.his bedroom door, is THROWN OPEN, and Sgt.Donowitz RUSHES
IN, grabbing the Old Man in his bed, and putting a
45Automatic to his head.

SGT.DONOWITZ

(ENGLISH)
Doctor? Doctor?

OLD MAN

(FRENCH)
What? What’s happening?
head, shocking, Donny SLAMS the 45. hard against the Old Man’s
scarring, and bringing the old gent to attention.

SGT.DONOWITZ

(ENGLISH)
Doctor? Are you a fucking doctor?
He nods his head, yes.

SGT.DONOWITZ
Andi amo…

Donny YANKS/DRAGS the Old Man out of bed, in his almost
comical nightshirt (which makes him cuter, thus the brutality
against him hurts more) towards the door…

INT – DOCTORS EXAMINING ROOM – NIGHT
.Into a doctors examining room, built into a French country
house, with a examining table, and medical instruments.
However, it’s obviously the medical examining room
of a veterinarian.
Along the walls are different cages with eight excited BARKING
dogs in it.
The Soldiers are putting the shot in the leg, bleeding, and in
excruciating pain, Bridget on the examining table.
Donny, still holding on to the Old Man, points in the girls
direction…

SGT.DONOWITZ

(ENGLISH)
She’s been shot. Shot. Bang bang…
(pointing at
his leg)
.in leg…understand?

OLD MAN

(FRENCH)
No no no, I don’t speak English.
Donny jams the barrel of his 45. into the thigh of the Old Man.

SGT.DONOWITZ

(ENGLISH)
BANG BANG – in the leg, understand!
The Old Man nods his head yes.

OLD MAN

(FRENCH)
But I’m a veterinarian …animals…
I take care of animals…
Bridget screams from the table…

BRIDGET

(ENGLISH)
He’s a fucking veterinarian you
imbecile!

1 00.

SGT.DONOWITZ

I
It’s still a doctor. If he can get
a bullet out of a cow, he can get
a bullet outta you.

LT.ALDO
Right now, we just need morphine.
Donny yells at the Old Man;

SGT.DONOWITZ
Morphine! We need morphine!
The Old Man tries to explain in French, that he’s not a human
doctor…

WHEN…
..Donny takes the 45. and SHOOTS one of the DOGS in the
cages.
Everybody jumps.
Donny SCREAMS at the Old Man;

SGT.DONOWITZ

MORPHINE!!!

7

BANG
He SHOOTS another dog…

SGT.DONOWITZ

MOREPHINE!!!
The Old Man begs him to stop, and goes to get the morphine.

CUT TO
The BODY of Gestapo Major DEITER HELLSTROM dead on the floor.

INT – LA LOUISTANE- NIGHT
Were back in the basement tavern. Colonel Hans Landa stands
over the corpse. He moves over to the next corpse, a smile
breaks out on his face.
He says in GERMAN SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

COL.LANDA
Ahhh Hugo, you’ve moved up in the
world I see. Lieutenant. And with
your record of insubordination.
Truly remarkable.

I

A Nazi soldier named HERRMAN, joins the S.S. Officer.

COL.LANDA
And that ones…
(Pointing at

WICKI)
.name is Weiheim Wicki. Bets
Austrian born jew, who immigrated
to the United States when things
began turning sour for the Israelites.
They are the two German born members of
The Basterds. They’ve been known
to don german uniforms, to ambush squads.

FLASH ON
Three Nazi Soldiers walking towards a company of other German
Soldiers. The Three Soldiers backs are to us. Dried bloody
bullet holes cover the backs of the three uniforms.
The SGT of the German company, yells to the trio;

SGT.GERMAN COMPANY
What brings you all the way out here?
The TRIO MOW DOWN the GERMAN COMPANY with their machine gunns.

BACK TO LANDA

COL LANDA
But that doesnt look like this.
This is odd.
Looking down he see’s something…
.bending down, he examines fraulein von Hammersmarks two
pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.
One shoe is covered in blood.
The other, while blood speckled, is fairly clean.
Picking up the clean shoe, and holding it in his hand.

COL.LANDA
It would appear somebodies missing.
Somebody fashionable.
A OFF SCREEN SOLDIER’S VOICE cries out;

SOLDIERS VOICE(OS)
Col, this ones still alive!
We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt.Willi lies.
He’s shot in the chest, but it looks like Max’s daddy is still
alive.

!!.

INT – EXAMINING ROOM -° NIGHT
Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.
The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the
German lady.

LT.ALDO
Now ‘fore we yank that slug outta ya,
you need to answer a few questions

BRIDGET
Few questions about what?

LT.ALDO
About I got three men dead back there,
and why don’t you try tellin us what
the fuck happened?

BRIDGET
The British officer blew his German
act, and a Gestapo Major saw it.

LT.ALDO
‘fore we get into who shot John,
why did you invite my men to a
rendez-vous in a basement with a bunch
of Nazis?

BRIDGET
I can see, since you didn’t see
what happened inside, the Nazi’s
being there must look odd.

LT.ALDO
Yeah, we gotta word for that kinda
odd in English, it’s called,
suspicious.

BRI DGET
Don’t let your imagination get the
better of you, Lieutenant. You met
the sergeant, Willi. He had a baby
tonight. His commanding officer gave
him and his friends the night off to
celebrate. The Germans being there
was just a tragic coincidence.
Aldo thinks for a moment…

LT. ALDO
Okay, I’ll buy that. He was ether
there with his men waiting for us,
or he was there celebrating his
sons birthday, he wasn’t doin both.

120.

LT.ALDO
How did the shootin start?

BRIDGET
The English man, gave himself away.

LT. ALDO
How did he do that?

BRIDGET
He ordered three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, index to pinky.

BRIDGET
We order, three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, thumb to index.

BRIDGET
That’s the German three. The other
is odd. Germans would, and did notice it.

LT. ALDO
Okay, let’s pretend there were no
Germans, and everything went exactly
the way it was suppose to. What would
of been the next step?

BRIDGET
Tuxedos. To get them into the
premiere, wearing military uniforms,
with all the military there, would
of been suicide. But going as
members of the German film industry,
they wear tuxedos, and blend in with
everybody else. I arranged a tailor
to fit three tuxedos tonight.

LT.ALDO
How did you intend to get them into
the premiere?

BRIDGET
Hand me my purse.
They do. And she opens it, and takes out three tickets to the
film premiere.

BRIDGET
Lt.Hicox was going as my escort.
The other two were going as a German
cameraman and his assistant.

INN ®

LT. ALDO
Can you still get us in that
premiere?

BRIDGET
Can you speak German better then your
friends, no. Have I been shot, yes.
I don’t see me tripping the light
fantastique up the red carpet any
time soon. Least of all by tomorrow
night.

(PAUSE)
However, there’s something you don’t
know. There’s been two recent
developments regarding Operation
Kino. One, the venue has been
changed from The Ritz, to a much
smaller venue.

LT.ALDO
Enormous changes at the last minute?
That’s not very Germatic. Why the
hell is Goebbels doin stuff so damn
peculiar?

BRIDGET
It probably has something to do with
the second development.

LT. ALDO
Which is?

FLASH ON
IN A PRIVATE DINNING ROOM IN GERMANY, The FUHRER, aka Adolph
Hitler, aka Adolph Shicklegroover, aka The Bohemian Corporal,
having dinner with Goebbels, only a few short days ago.
The FUHRER

(GERMAN)
I’ve been rethinking my position in
regards to your Paris premiere of
“Nations Pride”. As the weeks have
gone on, and the Americans are on
the beach, I do find myself thinking
more and more about this Private
Zoller. This boy has done something
tremendous for us. And I’m beginning
to think my participation in this
event could be meaningful.

BACK TO BRIDGET

BRIDGET
The Fuhrer’s attending the premiere.

1 2 Z.
Donny breaks the teams silence;

SGT.DONOWITZ
What?

LT.ALDO
When the hell did this happen?

BRIDGET
The venue change, two weeks ago.
The Fuhrer’s attendance, four days
ago.

LT. ALDO
And how come London don’t know
nothing about that?

BRIDGET
We need to get something straight,
once and for all. Everything London
knows, it learned from me. If I
don’t know, London doesn’t know.
So now, this is me, informing you,
Hitler’s coming to Paris.

SGT.DONOWITZ

FUCK A DUCK?
Aldo stands up from the chair, pacing as he takes in this new
information.

BRIDGET
What are you thinking?

LT.ALDO
I’m thinking getting a wack at
plantin ole Uncle Adolph makes
this a horse of a different color.

BRIDGET
What’s that suppose to mean?

LT.ALDO
It means, your gettin us in that
premiere.

BRIDGET
I’m going to probably end up losing
this leg, bye bye acting career,
fun while it lasted. How do you
expect me to walk up a red carpet?

X73

LT.ALDO
The doggie docs gonna dig that slug
outta your gam. Then he’s gonna wrap
it up in a cast, and you gotta good
how I broke my leg mountain climbing
story. That’s German, ain’t it?
Y’all like climbin mountains,
don’tch?

BRIDGET
I don’t. I like smoking, drinking,
and ordering in restaurants, but I
see your point.

LT. ALDO
We fill ya up with morphine, till
it’s comin out ya ears. Then just
limp your little ass up that
rouge car-pet.

BRIDGET
Splendid. When the Nazi’s put me up
against a wall, it won’t hurt
so much.
(Changing tone)
I know this is a silly question
before I ask it, but can you
American’s speak any other language
then English?

HIRSCHBERG
Other then Yiddish?

BRIDGET
Preferably.
Donny referring to Aldo and himself.

SGT.DONOWITZ
We both speak alittle Italian.

BRIDGET
With a atrocious accent, no doubt.
But that doesn’t exactly kill us
in the crib. Germans don’t have a
good ear for Italian. So you mumble
Italian, and brazen through it, is
that the plan?

LT. ALDO
That’s about it.

BRIDGET
That sounds good.

LT. ALDO
it sounds like shit, but what else
we gonna do, go home?

BRIDGET
No, it’s good. If you don’t blow it,
with that, I can get you in the
building.
(Change tone)
So, who does what?

LT.ALDO
Well I speak the most Italian, so
I’ll be your escort. Donowitz speaks
the second most, so he’ll be your
Italian cameraman. And Hirschberg
third most, so he’ll be Donnys
assistant.

HIRSCHBERG
I don’t speak Italian.

LT. ALDO
Like I said, third best. Just keep
your fuckin mouth shut. In fact why
don’t you start practising, right now.

BRIDGET
(Meaning Utivich)
What about the little one?

UTIVICH
Do you mean me?

BRIDGET
I didn’t mean any offence.

UTIVICH
None taken you German cunt.

LT.ALDO
Utivich is the chauffeur.

UTIVICH
I can’t drive.
Bridget SCREAMS in frustration;

BRIDGET
You Americans are fucking useless!

UTIVICH
IVGimmie a break, I’m from Manhattan.

LT.ALDO
No worries, son. We got over fourteen
hours before the movie tomorrow.
More then enough time for you to learn
to drive.

UTIVICH
NO no no no, Lieutenant, it’s not!

LT.ALDO
Oh yes yes yes yes, Private, it is.
And yes yes yes yes, you will.
(Changes tone)
Look Utivich, you and I both know,
if we went to grade school together,
you damn sure ain’t copyin off of my
test. Well I lern’t to drive in four
hours on a Tennessee mountain road.
And I’m a shit for brains coal miner
bootlegger. Hirschberg, you know how
to drive, right?

HIRSCHBERG
Yes.

LT.ALDO
Teach ‘em.

BRIDGET
But there is a problem. I’m a movie
star. This is a movie premiere.
I can’t show up looking like I was
just in a Nazi gun fight. Now I
have a dress for the premiere at my
hotel. But sometime tomorrow, I
have to get my hair done.
All The Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing.

LT. ALDO
Sister, you must got wunderbar luck.
Guess who went to beauty school?
The CAMERA WHIP PANS to SGT.DONOWITZ.
Bridget rolls her eyes.

1 26.

BLACK FRAME

CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:

CHAPTER FIVE

“REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE”

FADE OFF

INT – SHOSANNAS AND MARCELS LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
We’re in Shosannas and Marcels living quarters, above the
cinema. We’ve never been in here before.

A SUBTITLE APPEARS ON SCREEN:

NIGHT OF “NATION’S PRIDE” PREMIERE
She’s standing before a full length mirror, in a real
attractive Forties style dress for the premiere. She’s stunning.
This is the first time in her life she’s had the opportunity,
or the occasion to wear something like this. Since she knows
this is the last night of her life, no time like the present.
SOUNDS of the hub-bub of the premiere, not to mention the
German brass band that’s blaring Third Reich Marches, can be
heard coming from below.
Shosanna walks to her apartment window, and looks down at the
Germatic miasma below.
SHOSANNAS POV: WE SEE all the pageantry below. Tons of
SPECTATORS. Tons of guests dressed in Nazi uniforms, tuxedos,
and female finery, walking up the long red carpet(with a big
Swastika in the middle, naturally) leading into Shosannas
cinema. The German brass band omm-pa-pa-ing away. German Radio
and Film crews covering the event for the fatherland back
home. And of course, MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS providing security
for this joyous Germatic occasion.
Shosanna COUGHS up a lugi, and HOCKS it.
A GERMAN S.S. GENERAL, being interviewed by a RADIO COMMENTATOR,
the lugi HITS him right on his bald head.
Shosanna goes back to the full length mirror, places a very
fashionable Forties style hat on her head, then lowers the
period style black fish net veil over her face. She takes out
a small GUN, and puts it in the pocket of her dress., and it’s
on. She exits the apartment door, to join the premiere.
From this point on, there’s no turning back, it’s all the way
baby, all the fucking way!

12.7.

INT – CINEMA STAIRWELL – NIGHT
The stairwell in the building that connects the living
quarters, with the cinema. She walks down the stairs, goes
through a door that puts her next to the projection booth
door. She takes out a key and opens it.

INT – PROJECTION BOOTH – NIGHT
Marcels prepping the film reels for tonight. The five silver
metal film cans that carry one 35mm reel of film each are laid
out. The cans for reels one and two are empty. Cans for reel
three, our specially marked can for reel four, and can for
reel five(which should never see the light of a projector)
lie in wait.
Shosanna, looking like a Forties movie star, enters the
projection booth.
The scene in FRENCH SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

MARCEL
Ooh lala, Danielle Darrieux, this
is so exciting. Pleased to meet you.

SHOSANNA
Shut up fool.
Marcel lifts up the veil covering her face, and their lips
meet.

SHOSANNA
Cheeky black bugger. I have to go
down and socialize with these Hun
pigs. Let’s go over it again?

MARCEL
Reel one is on the first projector.
Reel two is on the second. Three
and four are ready to go.

SHOSANNA
Okay, the big sniper battle in the
film begins around the middle of
the third reel. Our film, comes on
in the forth reel, so Somewhere
towards the end of the third reel,
go down and lock the doors of the
auditorium. Then take your place
behind the screen, and wait for my
CUE, when I give it to you, BURN IT DOWN!

12 1.

INT – CINEMA LOBBY – NIGHT
The pageantry of the evening is in full swing, as all the
German beautiful people, enter the cinema. They mingle in the
swastika covered, greek nude statue peppered lobby. Nazi
Military Commanders, High Ranking Party Officials, and German
Celebrities(Emil tannings, Veit Harlin), hob knob and drink
Champagne from passing WAITERS who carry glasses on silver
trays.
We see Shosanna enter from the area at the top of the big
staircase in the lobby that overlooks the lobby parlor
entrance. She descends the staircase, and busies herself with
theatre stuff.
At the top of the staircase, looking down at the master race
in all there finery, is Colonel Hans Landa, dressed in his
finest SS Uniform, smoking on his Calabash.

CAMERA FRAME
directly behind him. On the right side, we see the figure of
Col.Landa, from behind, watching the guests entering the
cinema. On the left side of frame, is the cinema entrance,
from a looking down perspective of the guests entering the
building.

THEN…
.A THINK BUBBLE, like in a comic book, appears on the left
side of frame, obscuring the cinema entrance. Inside of Landas
think bubble, a little scene plays out.

THINK BUBBLE
Inside a hospital room filled with DOCTORS, NURSES, and a
PATIENT in a hospital bed. Then Col.Landa enters the room, and
screams at everybody;

COL.LANDA
I want everybody out of this room!
They start to leave.

COL.LANDA
That means now, goddamnit!
They RUSH OUT.
He walks over to the Patient in the hospital bed, Its none
other then SGT.WILLI, and yes, he’s still alive.
Landa pulls up a chair next to the bed, sits down.

COL.LANDA
Can you speak, Sgt?

L – )1.

SGT.WILLI

(WEAKLY)
Yes Colonel.

COL.LANDA
Tell me everything that happened in
there?
The THINK BUBBLE DISSOLVES away, reveling the entrance again,
and as if on perfect cue, in walks Bridget Von Hammersmark,
dressed lovely, leg in a big white cast. The three basterds in
their tuxedos, flank her.

CU COL.LANDA
smiles.
He descends the stairs, towards the four saboteurs…
They speak in GERMAN, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

COL.LANDA
Fraulein Von Hammersmark, what
has befallen Germany’s most elegant
swan?

BRIDGET
Colonel Landa, it’s been years.
Dashing as ever I see.

COL.LANDA
Flattery will get you everywhere,
fraulein.
They chuckle, and air kiss.

COL.LANDA
So what’s happened to your lovely
leg, a by product of kicking ass in
the German cinema, no doubt.

BRIDGET
Save your flattery, you old dog.
I know too many of your former
conquests, to fall into that honey
pot.
Chuckle-chuckle…

COL.LANDA
Seriously, what happened?

130.

BRIDGET
Well, I tried my hand, foolishly I
might add, at mountain climbing.
And this was the result.

COL.LANDA
Mountain climbing? That’s how you
injured your leg, mountain climbing?

BRIDGET
Believe it or not, yes it is.
A brief moment passes between the two…

THEN…
The Colonel BURSTS OUT with UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER. So uproarious
in fact, that it’s quite disconcerting to the four saboteurs.
The Colonel begins to regain his composure…

COL.LANDA
Forgive me, fraulein. I don’t mean
laugh at your misfortune. It’s just
.mountain climbing? I’m curious
fraulein, what could of ever
compelled you to undertake such a
foolhardy endeavor?
The Double meaning is not lost on the German actress.

BRIDGET
Well, I chant be doing it again,
I can tell you that.

COL.LANDA
That cast looks as fresh as my old
Uncle Gustave, when were you climbing
this mountain, last night?

BRIDGET
Very good eye, Colonel. It happened
yesterday morning.

COL.LANDA
Hummm. And where exactly in Paris
is this mountain?
This stops her for a seconded.
Then Landa laughs it off, taking them off the hook.

13[.

COL.LANDA
I’m just teasing you, fraulein. You
know me, I tease rough. So who are
your three handsome escorts?

BRIDGET
I’m afraid neither three speak a
word of German. Their friends of
mine from Italy. This is a wonderful
Italian stuntman, Antonio Margheriti.
(Meaning Aldo)
A very talented cameraman, Enzo Gorlomi.
(Meaning Donny)
And Enzo’s camera assistant, Dominick
Decocco.
The German fraulein turns to the three tuxedo wearing
Basterds.

BRIDGET

(ITALIAN)
Gentlemen, this is a old friend, Col.
Sans Landa of the S.S.
The Basterds know only too well who Landa the Jew Hunter is,
but they can’t show it.

LT.ALDO

COL.LANDA
Margheriti…?

(ITALIAN)
Am I saying it correctly…?
.Margheriti?

LT. ALDO

(ITALIAN)
Yes. Correct.

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
Margheriti…. Say it for me once
please…?

LT. ALDO
Margheriti.

13Z•

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
I’m sorry, again…?

LT.ALDO
I4argheriti.

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
Once more… .?

LT.ALDO
Margheriti.

COL.LANDA
Nargheriti.

(FRENCH)
It means daisies, I believe.
Turning his gaze to Donny.

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
What’s your name again?

SGT.DONOWITZ
Enzo Gorlomi.

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
Again… .?

SGT.DONOWITZ
Gorlomi.

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
One more time, but let me really
hear the music in it.

SGT.DONOWITZ

(HAMMY ITALIAN)
Gorlomi.
Now to Hirschberg…

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
And you?
Then Hischberg breaks out the best Italian accent of the

GROUP;

)33.

HIRSCHBERG
Dominick Decocco.

COL.LANDA
Dominick Decocco?

HIRSCHBERG
Dominick Decocco.

COL.LANDA
Bravo… . Bravo.

BRIDGET

(GERMAN)
Well, my two cameraman friends need
to find there seats.
Col.Landa stops a WAITER with a tray of champagne glasses.

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
Not so fast, lets enjoy some champagne.
Everyone gets a glass.

COL.LANDA

(FRENCH)
– Oh, Mademoiselle Mimieux, please
join us, I have some friends I’d
like you to meet.
Shosanna joins the circle, and is handed a champagne glass.
This is the first moment The Basterds are aware of Shosanna.

COL.LANDA

(FRENCH)
May I say Mademoiselle, you look
divine.

SHOSANNA

(FRENCH)
Merci’.

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
This lovely young lady, is Mademoiselle
Emmanuelle Mimieux, this is her cinema,
and she is our hostess for the evening.

(FRENCH)
And Mademoiselle, this battered, broken,
and none worse for the wear German
goddess, is Bridget Von Hammersmark.

1 3 W.

BRIDGET
Bonjour.

SHOSANNA
Bon jour.

BRIDGET

(FRENCH)
I’m afraid my companions don’t speak
any French, there Italian. This is
Antonino, Enzo, and Dominick.
All three smile goofy spaghetti bender smiles.

COL.LANDA

(FRENCH)
Actually fraulein Von Hammersmarks
Italian associates, need help finding
there seats. Perhaps Mademoiselle
Mimieux would be so kind to escort
them?

SHOSANNA

(FRENCH)
It would be my pleasure. Let me see
your tickets?
Donny hands her two tickets. She indicates for them to follow her.
Donny and Hirschberg both exchange one last look with Aldo,
then follow the young french girl into the auditorium.

INT – AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
The cinema auditorium is filling up quickly with grey and black
uniforms.
Shosanna finds the two counterfeit Italians their seats.
After she points out their seats, she turns to leave…
Hirschberg…
.reaches out and grabs her wrist.
He looks her in the face, and filled with tremendous guilt,
because if he’s successful tonight he’s going to blow this
cute French girl to smithereens, he says;

HIRSCHBERG
Grazie.

13r.
The cute French Girl looks back at the goofy looking Italian
boy with slicked back hair, that makes him look kind of
Jewish, with tremendous guilt, knowing if she is successful
tonight, she’s going to burn him alive, and says;

SHOSANNA
Prego.

BACK TO LOBBY
They begin flicking the lights on and off. A GERMAN SOLDIER
YELLS in GERMAN in the lobby;

GERMAN SOLDIER
Take your seats! The show is about to
begin! Everybody take your seatsl
Col.Landa, Lt.Aldo, and Bridget are still together.

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
I must call The Fuhrer. He doesn’t
want to make his entrance untill
everybody seated. Come with me Frau
Von Hammersmark. The Fuhrer has
heard your here, and he wishes to
commend you personally.

BRIDGET

(GERMAN)
Me? Why?

COL.LANDA

(GERMAN)
Don’t be modest. Everybody is quite
taken with your resolve. A accident,
like you’ve just experienced, and
yet you still show up to to a
important Party event. The Fuhrer
was quite adamant in his gratitude.
We’ll use Mademoiselle Mimieux’s office.
(To Aldo
in Italian)
I’m afraid I must rob you of your
companion, but only for a moment.

BRIDGET

(ITALIAN)
Yes, apparently The Fuhrer wishes
to commend me.

‘ 36

COL.LANDA

(ITALIAN)
Wait here a moment. I promise I won’t
detain her long.
What are ether of them suppose to do, argue?
Col.Landa goes over to one of the Nazi GAURD/USHER, and
whispers in his ear, gesturing toward Aldo. Like he’s saying,
leave the boy alone, till we come back… .Or is he?
Col.Landa limps Bridget away towards Shosannas office.
As Aldo stands in the lobby, more and more people enter the
auditorium, till it’s only Aldo and the six Nazi Gaurd/Ushers
in the now vacant lobby.

INT – SHOSANNA’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Shosanna’s cinema manager office. It’s small, cluttered, and
dominated by a desk.
They both enter.
Col.Landa closes the door behind him, and LOCKS IT.
Bridget notices, but says nothing.
Now the two Germans are alone.

COL.LANDA
Have a seat fraulein.
Pointing at one lone chair in front of the desk.
She lowers herself in the chair.
Instead of moving around to the other side of the desk,
opposite her. The SS Colonel pulls another little chair over,
and places it in front of the fraulein.
He sits. Their knees almost touching.
The colonel points to the foot not in the cast.

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