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Inglourious Basterds Transcript

BACK TO ROOF
Shosanna exhales cigarette smoke.
Marcel comes onto the roof.

MARCEL
Are you well?

SHOSANNA
Even on the roof I can’t smoke a
cigarette without hearing Madames
voice yelling at me. That’s why I
do it. To hear Madames voice again.

MARCEL
We both miss her.

SHOSANNA
I know. I’m fine, darling. I’ll be
to bed soon.
Marcel goes back inside, Shosanna smokes.

INT – FRENCH BISTRO – AFTERNOON
Shosanna sits in the back of a French bistro, reading a
book, “The Saint in New York” by Leslie Charteris, drinking
wine. When the young German Private from the other day,
FREDRICK ZOLLER, walks in. He gets a beer, then notices the
French girl sitting in the back. He smiles, and heads over
to her. “Oh no, not this guy again”, she thinks.
Again they speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

FREDRICK
May I join you?

SHOSANNA
Look Fredrick –

FREDRICK

(SMILING)
– You remember my name?

SHOSANNA
Yes….Look, you seem a pleasant
enough fellow –

FREDRICK
– Merci.

SHOSANNA
Your welcome. – regardless, I want
you to stop pestering me.

FREDRICK
I apologize mademoiselle, I wasn’t
trying to be a pest. I was simply
trying to be friendly.

SHOSANNA
I don’t wish to be your friend.

FREDRICK
Why not?

SHOSANNA
Don’t act like a infant. You know why.

FREDRICK
I’m more then just a uniform.

SHOSANNA
Not to me. If you are so desperate for
a French girlfriend, I suggest you try
Vichy?
Just then TWO OTHER GERMAN SOLDIERS come over, obviously
very impressed with Fredrick. They make a fuss over him in
UNSUBTITLED GERMAN, which nether Shosanna, or the non German
speaking members of the movies audience, can understand.
He signs autographs for them, shakes their hands, and they
go on their way.
Shosanna’s eyes narrow.

SHOSANNA
Who are you?

FREDRICK
I thought I was just a uniform?

SHOSANNA
Your not just a German soldier, are
you somebodies son?

FREDRICK
Most German soldiers are somebodies son.

SHOSANNA
Yeah, but your not just somebody. What
are you, Hitlers nephew?
He leans in across the table, she leans in too, and he says;

FREDRICK
Yes.

SHOSANNA
Really?

FREDRICK
No not really, I’m just teasing you.
She leans back annoyed.

SHOSANNA
Then what is it? What are you, a German
movie star?

6’O

FREDRICK
Not exactly.

SHOSANNA
(Pfuit), what does that mean, “not exactly”.
I asked if you were a movie star, the
answer to that question, is yes or no.
Fredrick laughs at that line.

FREDRICR
When you said that just now, you
reminded me of my sister.
This catches young Shosanna off guard.

FREDRICR
I come from a home of six sisters.
We run a family operated cinema in Munich.
Seeing you run around your cinema,
reminds me of them. Especially my sister
Helga. She raised me, when our father
wasn’t up to the job. I admire her very
much. You’d like her, she doesn’t wear a
German uniform.

SHOSANNA
You were raised by Helga?

FREDRICK
All my sisters, I’m the baby, but Helga
was the bossiest.

SHOSANNA
And your mother and father?

FREDRICK
My mother died. And my father was a
loser. My fathers moto; “If at first
you don’t succeed, quit”. The day he
left, good riddance. My sisters are
all I need. It’s why I like your cinema.
It makes me feel both closer to them,
and a little homesick at the same time.

SHOSANNA
is your cinema still operatiing?

FREDRICR
Oui.

SHOSANNA
What’s it called?

5!

FREDRICK
The Kino Haus.

SHOSANNA
How has it done durring the war?

FREDRICK
Actually, in Germany, cinema
attendance is up.

SHOSANNA
No doubt, you don’t have to operate
under a curfew.

FREDRICK
How often do you fill your house?

SHOSANNA
(Pfuit), not since before the war.

FREDRICK
So if you had one big engagement, that
would help you out?

SHOSANNA
Of course, but that’s not likely to
happen.
TWO MORE GERMAN SOLDIERS and their TWO FRENCH DATES approach
the table. They ask for Fredricks autograph, he signs it for
them. One of the French Girls says in FRENCH, how exciting
it is to meet a real live German war hero. Shosanna hears
it. They leave. So that’s it, she thinks.

SHOSANNA
So your a war hero? Why didn’t you tell me?

FREDRICK
Everybody knows that, I liked you didn’t.

SHOSANNA
What did you do?
He takes a sip of beer.

FREDRICK
I’ve shot the most enemy soldiers
in world war two…so far.
You bet your sweet ass that got her attention.

SHOSANNA
Wow.

52

FREDRICK
I was alone in a bell tower in a
walled off city in Russia. It was
myself, and a thousand rounds of ammo,
in a bird’s nest, against three
hundred Soviet soldiers.

SHOSANNA
What’s a bird’s nest?

FREDRICK
A bird’s nest is what a sniper would call
a bell tower. It’s a high structure,
offering a three hundred and sixty degree
view. Very advantageous for marksmen.

SHOSANNA
How many Russian’s did you kill?

FREDRICK
Sixty-eight.

(BEAT)
The first day. A hundred and fifty the
second day. Thirty-two, the third day.
On the forth day, they exited the city.
Naturally my war story received alot of
attention in Germany, that’s why they
all recognize me. They call me the
German Sgt.York.

SHOSANNA
Maybe they’ll make a film about
your exploits.

FREDRICK
Well, that’s just what Joseph Goebbels
thought. So he did. It’s called “Nation’s
Pride”, and guess what, they wanted me to
play myself, so I did. They have posters
for it in kiosks all over Paris. That’s
another reason for all the attention.

SHOSANNA
“Nation’s Pride” is about you? “Nation’s
Pride” is starring you?

FREDRICK
I know, comical, huh?

SHOSANNA
Not so comical. So what are you doing
in Paris, enjoying a rest?

53.

FREDRICK
Hardly. I’ve been doing publicity,
having my picture taken with different
German luminaries, visiting troops,
that sort of thing. Goebbels wants the
film to premier in Paris, so I’ve been
helping them in the planning.
Joseph is very keen on this film.
He’s telling anybody who will listen,
when “Nation’s Pride” is released,
I’ll be the German Van Johnson.
Shosanna, wasn’t falling for the young German, by any stretch.
However his exploits, as well as his charming manner, can’t
help but impress. But his referring to Goebbels as “Joseph”,
like their friends, is all she needed to get on the right side
of things. This young man is trouble with a capital “T”, and
she needs to stay far fucking away from him.
She abruptly rises, and says;

SHOSANNA
Well, good luck with your premier
Private. I hope all goes well for
Joseph and yourself. Au revoir.
And with that, she disappears. Leaving the perplexed private
alone.

EXT – CINEMA MARQUEE – DAY
It’s the next day.
Shosanna and Marcel are changing the letters on the marquee.
Marcel excuses himself to visit the toilet.
$hosanna is alone outside the little cinema, perched up on her
ladder.

WHEN…
.A BLACK NAZI SEDAN pulls up in front of the little cinema.
A GERMAN MAJOR in a black Gestapo uniform steps out of the back
of the sedan.
The DRIVER, a German Private, steps out as well.
Yelling to the young girl up high on the ladder;
Both GERMAN and FRENCH will be SUBTITLED into ENGLISH.

5 q.

GESTAPO MAJOR
Mademoiselle Nimieux?

SHOSANNA
Oui?
Telling his Driver in German to ask her in French;

GESTAPO MAJOR
Ask her if this is her cinema?
in French The Driver asks Shosanna;

DRIVER
is this your cinema?

SHOSANNA

GESTAPO MAJOR
Tell her to come down.

DRIVER
Come down please.
She climbs down the ladder.
The Driver opens the back door of the sedan, indicating for her
to get in.

SHOSANNA
I don’t understand, what have I done?

DRIVER
(to Major)
She wants to know what she’s done?

GESTAPO MAJOR
Who says she’s done anything?

DRIVER
Who says you’ve done anything?
Then in her best imitation of Madame Mimeux’s arrogantmanner.

SHOSANNA
Then I demand to know what this is about,
and where do you propose to take me?
The Driver begins to translate, when the Gestapo Major holds up his
hand, telling him not to bother. The Major looks at the young
French girl and tells her in German;

55.

GESTAPO MAJOR
Get your ass in that car.
No translation necessary. She climbs into the back of the car,
followed by the Germans. The sedan takes off.

INT – SEDAN(MOVING) – DAY
The Nazi sedan drives through the early afternoon Paris
streets.

WE HOLD SHOSANNA IN TIGHT CU
the whole ride, never showing her Nazi oppressor sitting beside
her. We just hold on her face trying not to revel anything.
The sedan stops.
The car door opens and the Driver offers Shosanna his hand.

EXT/INT- MAXIUM’S (FAMOUS PARIS CAFE) – DAY
She steps out of the car, and is lead into a Paris cafe by the
Gestapo Officer. It takes the young Jewess a moment or two before
she realizes she’s not being led to a Gestapo interrogation
room, a railroad car, or a concentration camp, but to lunch.
The best table at Maxims. Three people, and two dogs, sit at it.
Germany’s Minister of Propaganda, and the number two man in
Hitlers Third Reich, JOSEPH GOEBBELS, his female French translator
(and mistress), FRANCESCA MONDINO, and young Private Zoller,
are the people. TWO BLACK FRENCH POODLES, belonging to
Mademoiselle Mondino, sit together in another chair at the
table.
We join them in mid-conversation;
They all speak GERMAN, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

GOEBBELS
– it’s only the off spring of slaves that
allows America to be competitive athletically.
America olympic gold can measured in Negro
sweat.
Shosanna is lead through the French eatery by the Gestapo Major.
Private Zoller see’s her, and stands up, excuse’s himself,
and greets her before she reaches the table.
Fredrick says in French, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;

FREDRICK
Good you came. I wasn’t sure weather or
not you’d except my invitation.

SHOSANNA
Invitation?

THEN…
.Goebbles Voice says OFF SCREEN;

GOEBBLES(OS)
Is that the young lady in question,
Fredrick?
Private Zoller turns in his direction, takes Shosanna by the
arm, and leads her to him.

FREDRICK
Yes it is, beer Goebbels. Emmanuelle,
there is somebody I want you to meet.
Joseph Goebbels, remaining seated, looks up at the young French
girl, scrutinizing her as he spoons creme brule into his mouth.
The excited Fredrick introduces Shosanna to the propaganda
minister formally.

FREDRICK
Emmanuelle Mimieux, I’d like to
introduce you to the minister of
propaganda, the leader of the entire
German film industry, and now I’m a
actor, my boss, Joseph Goebbels.
Goebbels offers up his long spider-like fingers for Shosanna to
shake. She does.

GOEBBELS
Your reputation precedes you Fraulein
Mimieux.
He looks to Francesca to translate, but she’s just taken a big
bite of terri misu.
They all laugh.
Fredrick jumps in…

FREDRICK
And normally, this is beer Goebbels French
interpreter, Mademoiselle Francesca
Mondino.

FRANCESCA
looks up at Shosanna.

5’?
NARRATOR’S VOICE comes on soundtrack;

NARRATOR (VO)
Francesca Mondino is much more then
Goebbels French Interpreter.
She’s also Goebbels favorite French
actress to appear in his films…

FLASH ON:

FILM CLIP
from one of Francesca’s B/W Goebbels produced productions.
Francesca, dressed as a French peasant girl, with a YOUNG

GERMAN (MOVIE) SOLDIER.
She speaks in FRENCH, SUBTITLED in to ENGLISH;

FRANCESCA/PEASANT GIRL
I love you, I can’t help it. My country
or my heart, which do I betray?
A SUBTITLE APPEARS below naming the films title;

“SENTIMENTAL COMBAT” (1943)

FLASH ON
Francesca and Goebbels having sex in her boudoir, on her red
velvet bed.

NARRATOR (VO)
And Goebbels favorite French Mistress,
to act in his bed.
WE SEE JUST A SUPER QUICK SHOT OF Goebbels FUCKING Francesca

DOGGY STYLE.

FRANCESCA

(ANIMAL-LIKE)
Do it! Do it! Fuck me – fill me!

BACK TO FRANCESCA
looking at Shosanna.

FRANCESCA
Bon jour.

SHOSANNA
Bon jour.

I
f.

FREDRICK
And you’ve met the Major.
The Gestapo officer steps up and says, to Fredrick in German;

GESTAPO MAJOR
Actually, I didn’t introduce myself.
(to Shosanna)
Major Deiter Helistrom of the Gestapo, at
your service mademoiselle.
(he clicks
his heels)
Please allow me, have a seat.
The Gestapo Officer pulls out a chair, for the young lady to sit
down. Shosanna takes the hot seat. Seated to her right is
Private Zoller. To her left are the two curly pampered
poodles. Major Helistrom pours Shosanna a glass of red wine
from a small craft on the table.

MAJOR HELLSTROM
Try the wine mademoiselle, it’s quite good.
Goebbels looks across the table at her.

GOEBBELS
well I must say, you’ve made quite a
impression on our boy.
Francesca interprets Goebbels German for Shosanna.

GOEBBELS
I must say fraulein, I should be rather
annoyed with you.
Francesca interprets..

GOEBBELS
I arrive in France, and I wish to have
lunch with my star…
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
Little do I know Be’s become
the toast of paris, and now he
must find time for me.
Francesca interprets…

c9 •

GOEBBELS
People wait in line hours, day’s,
to see me. For the Fuhrer and
Private Zoller, I wait.
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
So finally, I’m granted a audience
with the young Private, and he spends
the entire lunch speaking of you
and your cinema.
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
So Fraulein Mimieux, let’s get down
to business.
Private Zoller interrupts –

FREDRICK
– Heer Goebbels, I haven’t informed
her yet.

GOEBBELS
Unless the girls a simpleton, I’m
sure she’s figured it out by now,
after all she does operate a cinema.
Francesca, tell her.
Francesca tells Shosanna in French;

FRANCESCA
What they’re trying to tell you
Emmanuelle, is Private Zoller has
spent the last hour at lunch,
trying to convince Monsieur Goebbels
to abandon previous plans for Private
Zollers film premier, and change the
venue to your cinema.
Zoller reacts.

FRANCESCA

(FRENCH
to Zoller)
What?

FREDRICK
I wanted to inform her.

FRANCESCA
Shit. I apologize Private, of
course you did.

60.

GOEBBELS

(GERMAN
to Francesca)
What’s the issue?

FRANCESCA
The Private wanted to inform the
mademoiselle himself.

GOEBBELS
Nonsense. Until I ask a few
questions, he has nothing to inform.
Let the record state, I have not
agreed to a venue change.

MAJOR HELLSTROM
Duly noted.
Goebbels speaks German to Shosanna;

GOEBBELS
You have opera boxes?

SHOSANNA

GOEBBELS

SHOSANNA

GOEBBELS
More would be better. How many
seats in your auditorium?

SHOSANNA
Three hundred and fifty.

GOEBBELS
That’s almost four hundred less
then The Ritz.
Fredrick jumps in…

FREDRICK
But beer Goebbels, that’s not such
a terrible thing. You said yourself
you didn’t want to indulge every
two faced french bourgeois taking
up space currying favor. With less
seat’s it makes the event more
exclusive. Your not trying to fill
the house, their fightin g for seats.

61.

FREDRICK

(CON’T)
Besides, to hell with the French.
This is a German night, a German
event, a German celebration. This
night is for you, me, the German
military, the high command, their
family and friends. The only people
who should be allowed in the room,
are people who will be moved by
the exploits on screen.
Goebbels listens silently, then after a bit of a pause;

GOEBBELS
I see your public speaking has
improved. It appears I’ve created
a monster. A strangely persuasive
monster. When the war’s over,
politics awaits.
Table chuckles.

GOEBBELS
Well Private, though it is true,
I’m inclined to indulge you anything.
I must watch a film in this young
ladies cinema before I can say,
yes or no.
(to Shosanna)
So young lady, you are to close
your cinema tonight, and have
a private screening me.
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
What German films do you have?
Francesca asks..

SHOSANNA
My cinema , on German night, tends
to show older German classics.
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
Why not my films?
Francesca asks…

6Z.

SHOSANNA
I draw a older German audience in
my cinema, that appreciate the
nostalgia of the earlier time.
Francesca interprets…

GOEBBELS
That’s nonsense fraulein. Us Germans
are looking forward, not backwards.
That era of German cinema is dead.
The German cinema I create, will not
only be thee cinema of Europe. But
the worlds only alternative to the
degenerate Jewish influence of
Hollywood.
Fredrick Jumps in…

FREDRICK
Along with being a cinema owner,
Emmanuelle is quite a formidable
film critic.
He chuckles, but alone.

GOEBBELS
WSo it would appear. Unfortunately
for the fraulein, I’ve outlawed
film criticism.
Zoller, thinking fast, says;

FREDRICK
Why don’t you screen “Lucky Kids”?
I’m sure Emmanuelle hasn’t seen. it.
And it’s so funny, I’ve been meaning
to recommend it to her, for her
German night. That’s a great idea,
let’s watch “Lucky Kids” tonight.

GOEBBELS
Ahhh, “Lucky Kids”, “Lucky Kids”,
“Lucky Kids”. When all is said and
done, my most purely enjoyable
production. Not only that, I
wouldn’t be surprised, if sixty
years from now, It’s “Lucky Kids”
that I’m the most remembered for.
I know it doesn’t seem like it now,
but mark my words.
Very well, I’ll have a print sent
over to the fraulein’.s cinema.
We’ll screen “Lucky Kids” tonight.

63
As Francesca interprets this for Shosanna…
…the empty chair next to the young Jewish girl is suddenly
filled with the bottom half of a grey S.S. officer uniform.

GOEBBELS
Ah Landa, your here, this is the
young lady in question.
The S.S. Officer sits down, and it’s our old friend from the
first scene COL HANS LANDA.

FREDRICK
Shosanna, this4pol Hans Landa of
the SS., he’ll be running security
for the premier.

CU SHOSANNA
A bomb is dropped and detonated behind her eyes. But if she
gives any indication of this, her war story ends here.
The S.S. OFFICER
that murdered her family, takes her hand and kisses it,
saying in perfect French;

COL LANDA
Charmed Mademoiselle.

MAJOR HELLSTROM
Better known as “The Jew Hunter”.
The table laughs.

GOEBBELS
Oh Francesca, what was that funny
thing the Fuhrer said about Hans?

FRANCESCA
What thing?

GOEBBELS
You know, you were there, it was a
funny thing the Fuhrer said,
about Hans…Something about a pig?
Francesca’s memory is jogged.

FRANCESCA
Oh, yes of course.
She repeats it by whispering it in Goebbels ear.

6 “F

GOEBBELS
Oh, yes of course, that’s it. So
the Fuhrer said, he wouldn’t be
surprised if Hans weren’t rooting
out Jews like a truffle pig from
the play pen.

FRANCESCA
That’s what we need, pigs that can
root out Jews.

COL LANDA
Who needs pigs when you have me?
Big hearty laugh around the table.

GOEBBELS
Do you have a engagement tonight?

COL LANDA
Well, as a matter of fact, I do –

GOEBBELS
– Break it. We’re all going to the
Fraulein’s cinema tonight to view
“Lucky Kids”.

COL LANDA
Splendid.
Then Reich Ministers companion mademoiselle Mondino,

INTERRUPTS;

FRANCESCA
And now I must get Reich Minister Goebbels
to his next appointment.

GOEBBELS
Slave driver! French slave driver!
They all chuckle.
Everybody begins to stand up from the table…
..Francesca gathers the stupid dogs…
.as Col Landa stands, he says;

COL LANDA
Actually, in my role as security
chief of this joyous German occasion,
I’m afraid I must have a word with
Mademoiselle Mimieux.

C. 5.
Mademoiselle Mimieux eyes go to Private Zoller, who responds.

FREDRICK
What sort of discussion?

COL LANDA
That sounded suspiciously like a
Private questioning the order of a
Colonel? Or am I just being sensitive?

FREDRICK
Nothing could be further from the
truth Colonel. Your authority is
beyond question.
But your reputation does proceed
you. Should Mademoiselle Mimieux
or myself be concerned?

GOEBBELS
Hans, the boy means no harm, he’s
simply smitten. And he’s correct.
Your reputation does proceed you.
Laughter all around. The Reich Minister and his axis entourage,
make their way to front of the cafe, with the two dumb dogs on
a leash, leading the way.

COL LANDA
No need for concern, you two.
As security chief, I simply need
to have a chat with the possible
new venue’s property owner.

FREDRICK
I was just hoping to escort
Mademoiselle Mimieux back to her
cinema.

GOEBBELS
Nonsense! You can eat ice cream,
and walk along the Sienne another
time. Right now, allow Col Landa
to do his job.
Everybody saystheir farewells.
Col Landa offers the young jew in hiding a seat at a small
table in the outside patio area of Maxims.
The fluency and poetic proficiency of the S.S. jew hunters
french, revels to the audience, that his feigning clumsiness at
french with Monsieur Lapadite in the films first scene, was
simply a interrogation-technique.

bd.
They speak FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

COL LANDA
Have you tried the strudel here?

SHOSANNA
No.

COL LANDA
It’s not so terrible. So how is it
the young Private and yourself came
to be acquainted?
She’s about to answer, when a WAITER approaches.

COL LANDA
Yes, two strudels, one for myself,
and one for the mademoiselle. A cup
of espresso, with a container of.
steamed milk, on the side.
For the Mademoiselle, a glass of milk.
Considering Shosanna. grew up on a dairy farm, and the last time
she was on a dairy farm, her strudel companion murdered her
entire family, his ordering her milk is, to say the
least… . disconcerting.
The key to Col Landa’s power, and or charm, depending on the
side ones on, lies in his ability to convince you he’s privy to
your secrets.

COL LANDA
So Mademoiselle, you were beginning
to explain….?

SHOSANNA

(ANXIOUSLY)
Up untill a couple of days ago,
I had no knowledge of Private Zoller,
or his exploits. To me, the Private
was simply just a patron of my cinema.
We spoke a few times, but –

COL LANDA
– Mademoiselle, let me interrupt you.
This is a simple formality, no
reason for you to feel anxious.
The Colonel takes one look at it, and says to the Waiter;

67

COL LANDA
I apologize, I forgot to order the
cream fresh.

WAITER
One moment.
He exits.

COL LANDA
(Refuring to
the apple pie)
Wait for the cream.
(Back to

BUSINESS)
So Emmanuelle – May I call you
Emmanuelle?

SHOSANNA
Oui.

COL LANDA
So Emmanuelle, explain to me how
does it happen, that a young lady
such as your self, comes to own a
cinema?
The Waiter returns, applying cream fresh to the two strudels.
The S.S. Colonel looks across the table at his companion, picking
up his fork, he says;

COL LANDA
After you.
Shosanna takes •a whip creamy bite of strudel, Landa follows her
lead.

COL LANDA

(MOUTHFULL
of pie)
Success?
Shosanna, mouth full of pie, indicates she approves.

.COL LANDA
Like I said, not so terrible.
(Back to

BUSINESS)
So you were explaining the origin of
your cinema ownership?

69.

SHOSANNA
The cinema originally belonged to
my aunt and uncle –
Col Landa removes alittle black book from his pocket.

COL LANDA
– What is there names?

SHOSANNA
Jean-Pierre and Ada Mimieux.
He records the names in his little book.

COL LANDA
Where are they now?

SHOSANNA
My uncle was killed during blitzkrieg.

COL LANDA
Pity… . Continue.

SHOSANNA
Aunt Ada passed away from fever
last spring.’

COL LANDA
Regrettable.

(RESPECTFUL

PAUSE)
It’s come to my attention you have
a negro in your employ, is that true?

SHOSANNA
Yes, he’s a Frenchman. His name is
Marcel. He worked with my aunt and
uncle since they opened the cinema.
He’s the only other one who works
with me.

COL LANDA
Doing what?

SHOSANNA
Projectionist.

COL LANDA
Is he any good?

SHOSANNA
The best.

61.

COL LANDA
Actually one could see where that
might be a good trade for them.
Can you operate the projectors?

SHOSANNA
Of course I can.

COL LANDA
Knowing the Reich Minister as I do,
I’m quite positive he wouldn’t want
the success or failure of his
illustrious evening, dependent on
the prowess of a negro. So if it
comes to pass we hold this event
at your venue, talented no doubt,
as your negro may be, you will
operate the projectors. Is that
exceptable?
As if she has any say.

SHOSANNA
Oui.
Col Landa takes another bite of strudel, Shosanna follows suit.

COL LANDA
So it would appear our young hero is
quite smitten with you?

SHOSANNA
Private Zollers feelings for me
aren’t of a romantic nature.

COL LANDA
Mademoiselle…?

SHOSANNA
Colonel, his feelings are not
romantic. I remind him of his sister.

COL LANDA
That doesn’t mean his feelings
aren’t romantic.

SHOSANNA
I remind him of his sister who
raised him.

70

COL LANDA
It’s sounding more and more romantic
by the minute.
Landa takes out a handsome looking cigarette case, with a S.S.
LOGO on it. Removing on of the fags, he lights it up with a
fancy S.S. gold lighter. He offers one to Shosanna.

COL LANDA
Cigarette?

SHOSANNA
No thank you.

COL LANDA
Do you smoke?

SHOSANNA
Yes.

COL LANDA
Then I insist, you must take one.
There not French, there German.
I hope your not nationalist about
your tobacco, to me French cigarettes
are a sin against nicotine.
She takes one, but makes no move to light it.
He inhales deep, and says;

COL LANDA
I did have some thing else I wanted
to ask you, but right now, for the
life of me, I can’t remember what it
is. Oh well, must not of been important.
Col Landa stands up, throws some French francs on the table,
puts on his grey S.S. cap, touches his finger to his visor,
saluting Shosanna, and saying:

COL LANDA
Till tonight.
And with that he’s gone.
Shosanna breaths a sigh of relief.
The CAMERA begins to slowly lower from a MEDIUM CU to her feet
ankles and floor. We see her shoes are in a puddle of urine.
During her conversation and strudel with the man that
exterminated her entire family, shosanna pissed herself.
She drops the German cigarette in to the piss puddle by her
feet.

7 1.

INT – CINEMA AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
The SILVER SCREEN
on screen is the German screwball comedy “LUCKY KIDS”.
We hear OFF SCREEN laughter at the on screen aryan antics.

CU GOEBBELS
Watching the screen, basking in his own toxic genius.

CU FRANCESCA
Laughing at the comedy, hand covering her mouth.

CU TWO BLACK POODLES
Pantingly watching the screen.

CU MAJOR HELLSTROM
Smiling, smoking a French cigarette.

CU COL LANDA
Smoking his calabash, amused.

CU FREDRICK ZOLLER
Truly enjoying himself.

CU SHOSANNA
watching the screen.
The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack.

NARRATOR (VO)
While Shosanna sits there pretending
to be amused by the aryan antics of
Goebbels Frank Capra copy, “Lucky
Kids”, a thought suddenly comes to
her.
We see her face get slightly distracted behind the eyes.

NARRATOR (VO)
What if tonight, accidently, the
cinema burned down? The Third Reich
would lose it’s Minister of
propaganda, it’s national hero, and
it’s top jew hunter, all in one fell
swoop.
She chuckles at the thought, though it looks like she’s
laughing at the German comedy.

SILVER SCREEN
“The END” card for “Lucky Kids” is projected.
The Nazi rouges gallery, and Shosanna, applaud the film.

IZ
The lights go up.

P
Goebbels excepts congratulations, as they stand and begin to
file out into the lobby.

NARRATOR(VO)
The screening of “Lucky Kids” was a
complete success. And Heer Goebbels
conceded to have the venue changed
to Shosannas cinema. Not only that,
in a moment of inspiration, Heer
Goebbels had a idea.
Goebbels speaks GERMAN, and Francesca translates;

GOEBBELS
I must say, I appreciate the modesty
of this auditorium. Your Cinema
has real respect, almost church like.
Not to say we couldn’t spruce the
place up a bit. In Versailles
there’s a crystal chandelier hanging
in the banquet hall that is
extraordinary. we’re going to get it,
and hang it from the very middle of
auditorium roof. Also I want to go to
Louvre, pick up a few Greek nudes,
and just scatter them about the lobby.

MONTAGE
we see a quick series of shots that show all that happening.
The chandelier being removed from the ceiling of Versailles.
Greek nude statues being hand trucked out of the Louvre.
A truck driving through the french countryside with the
enormous crystal chandelier in the back.
The lobby of Shosanna’s cinema, pimped out in Nazi iconography.
WORKERS buzz around decorating. The Greek statues are moved
into place.
We see Workers trying with incredible difficulty, to hoist the
huge, heavy, and twinkingly fragile chandelier, in Shosannas
auditorium, which now resembles something out of one of Tinto
Brass’s Italian B-movie rip off’s of Visconti’s “The Damned”.

SHOSANNA
watches all this from a opera box, she shakes her head in
disbelief.

73

BACK TO SHOSANNA AND THE NAZI “S
in the lobby, post screening of “Lucky Rids”, she’s soundlessly
escorting them to the door, as they make their goodbyes.

NARRATOR (VO)
As they left the little French
cinema that night, all the Germans
were very happy…
We see Private Zoller hanging back, so he.can say goodbye.

NARRATOR (VO)
None more so then Private Zoller.
She closes the door on him. Watching the Nazi’s walk into the
Paris night. Their shadows, for a moment onAwall, look
like grotesque Nazi charcthers. 4644
The Nazi’s are gone.
Marcel sits at the top of the staircase of the lobby, looking
down at Shosanna.
They speak in FRENCH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

MARCEL
What the fuck are we suppose to do?

SHOSANNA
It looks like we’re suppose to have
a Nazi premier.

MARCEL
Like I said, what the fuck are we
suppose to do?

SHOSANNA
Well, I need to speak with you
about that.

MARCEL
About what?

SHOSANNA
About these Hun swine, commandeering
our cinema.

MARCEL
What about it?
She slowly walks up the stairs to Marcel. She makes him part
his legs, and sits on the lower step, between his legs. Her
back up against his chest, his arms around her shoulders.
Shosanna has only known this type of intimacy with Marcel.

SHOSANNA
Well, when I was watching the bosch
(Said in

ENGLISH)
Capra-corn abomination,
(Back to

FRENCH)
I got a idea.

MARCEL
I’m confused, what are we talking
about?

SHOSANNA
Filling the cinema with Nazi’s and
their whores, and burning it down
to the ground.

MARCEL
I’m not talking about that, your
talking about that.

SHOSANNA
No, we’re talking about that,
right now. If we can keep this
place from burning down by
ourselves, we can burn it down
by ourselves.

MARCEL
Shosanna –

SHOSANNA
No, Marcel, just for sake of argument,
if we wanted to burn down the cinema,
for any number of reasons, you and I
could physically accomplish that, no?

MARCEL
Oui Shosanna, we could do that.

SHOSANNA
And with Madame Mimieux’s 350 nitrate
film print collection, we wouldn’t
even need explosives, would we?

MARCEL
You mean we wouldn’t need any more
explosives?

SHOSANNA
Oui, that’s exactly what I mean.
She begins kissing his hands.

75.

SHOSANNA

(CON’T)
I am going to burn down the cinema
on Nazi night.
One of his fingers probes her mouth.

SHOSANNA

(CON’T)
And if I’m going to burn down the
cinema, which I am, we both know,
your not going to let me do it
by myself.
The back of her head presses up hard against him, as his hand
both caresses, and grips her lovely neck.

SHOSANNA

(CON’T)
Because you love me. And I love you.
And your the only person on this earth
I can trust.
She then TWISTS around, so she’s straddling him. They are now,
face to face.

SHOSANNA

(CON’T)
But that’s not all we’re going to do.
Does the filmmaking equipment it the
attic still work? I know the film
camera does. How about the sound
recorder?

MARCEL
Quite well, actually. I recorded a
new guitarist I met in a cafe last
week. It works superb. Why do we
need filmmaking equipment?

SHOSANNA
Because Marcel, my sweet, we’re
going to make a film. Just for the
Nazi’s.

FADE TO BLACK

?G.

FADE OFF

INT – ENGLISH COUNTRY ESTATE – DAY
A young MILITARY ATTACHE, opens the sliding double doors
that serve as a entrance to the room.

MILITARY ATTACHE
Right this way, Lieutenant.
A snappy handsome British Lieutenant in dress browns, steps inside
the room. This officer, who has been mixing it up with
the Gerrys since the late thirties, is named LT.ARCHIE HICOX.
A young George Sanders type(The Saint and Private affairs of
Bel Ami, years).
Upon entering the room, Lt.Hicox is gobsmacked.
Standing before him is legendary military mastermind,
GENERAL ED FENECH, a older George Sanders type (Village of the
Dammed).
But in the back of the room, sitting behind a piano,
smoking his ever present cigar, is the unmistakable
bulk of WINSTON CHURCHELL.

LT. HICOX
Lt. Archie Hicox, reporting sir.

GEN FENECH
(Salutes back)
General Ed Fenech, at ease Hicox.
Drink?
Hicox’s eye’s go to the formidable bulldog behind the piano,
who’s scrutinizing him behind his cigar. However the man behind
the cigar makes no gesture, and the General, makes no
acknowledgment of the three hundred pound gorilla in the room.
Which Lt.Hicox knows enough to mean, if Churchell isn’t
introduced, he ain’t there.

LT.HICOX
if you offered me a scotch and plane
water, I could drink a scotch and
plain water.

?7.

GEN.FENECH
That a boy, Lieutenant. Make it
yourself, like a good chap,
will you? Bars in the globe.
Hicox heads over to the bar globe.

LT.HICOX
Something for yourself, sir?

GEN.FENECH
Whiskey straight. No junk in it.
The Lieutenant moves over to the Columbus-style globe bar, and
busies himself mixing spirits, playing bartender chappy.
Fenech, eyeing the Lieutenant’s file.

GEN.FENECH
It says here you’ve run three
undercover commando operations in
Germany, and German occupied
territories? Frankfaurt, Holland,
and Norway to be exact?
Back to them, mixing drinks, he says;

LT.HICOX
Extraordinary people, the Norwegian’s.

GEN.FENECH
It says here you speak German fluently?

LT.HICOX
Like a Katzenjammer Kid.

GEN.FENECH
And your occupation before the war?
His back still to us, as he bartends…

LT. H I COX
I’m a film critic.

GEN.FENECH
List your accomplishments?

LT.HICOX
Well sir, such as they are, I write
reviews and articles, for a publication
called; “Films and Filmmakers”.
As well as our sister publication.

7f .

GEN.FENECH
What’s that called?

LT.HICOX
“Flickers Bi-Monthly”. And I’ve had
two books published.

GEN.FENECH
Impressive. Don’t be modest Lieutenant,
what are their titles?

LT. HI COX
The first book was called; “Art Of The
Eye’s, The Heart, and The Mind:A Study
of German Cinema in the Twenties”.
And the second one was called; …
He turns around with his whiskey and plain water, and the
Generals whiskey no junk. He finishes what he was saying, as
he walks toward the General, handing him his drink.

LT.HICOX
“Twenty-Four Frame Da Vinci”.
It’s a subtexual film criticism
study of the work of German director
G.W. Pabst.

LT. HI COX
What should we drink to, sir?

GEN.FENECH
(Thinking, for
a moment)
Down with Hitler.

LT.HICOX
All the way down, sir.

GEN.FENECH
Are you familiar with German cinema
under the Third Reich?

LT. HI COX
Yes. Obviously I haven’t seen any of
the films made in the last three
years, but I am familiar with it.

GEN.FENECH
Explain it to me.?

77

LT.HICOX
Pardon sir?

GEN.FENECH
This little escapade of ours,
requires a knowledge of the German
film industry under the Third Reich.
Explain to me UFA, under Goebbels?

LT.HICOX
Goebbels considers the films he’s
making to be the beginning of a new
era in German cinema. A alternative
to what he considers the Jewish
German intellectual cinema of the
twenties. And the Jewish controlled
dogma of Hollywood.
SUDDENLY… Bellowing from the back of the room;

CHURCHELL
How’s he doing?

LT. H I COX
Frightfully sorry sir, once again?

CHURCHELL
You say he wants to take on the Jews
at their own game? Compared to say
.Louis B.Mayer…how’s he doing?

LT.HICOX
Quite well, actually. Since Goebbels
has taken over, film attendance has
steadily risen in Germany over the
last eight years. But Louis B.Mayer
wouldn’t be Goebbels proper opposite
number. I believe Goebbels see’s himself
closer to David O.Selznick.
Gen.Fenech looks to the Prime Minister.
With a puff of cigar smoke, Churchell says;

CHURCHELL
Brief him.

GEM.FENECH
Lt.Bicox, at this point in time I’d
like to brief you on, Operation Kino.
Three days from now, Joseph Goebbels is
throwing a gala premier of one of his
new movies in Paris –

80.

LT.HICOX
– What film sir?
The General has to resort to peeking at his file.

GEN.FENECH
The motion pictures called; “Nation’s
Pride”.

LT.HICOX
Oh, you mean the film about Private
Zoller?

GEN.FENECH
We don’t have any intelligence, on
exactly, what the film that night
will be about.

LT.HICOX
But it’s called “Nation’s Pride”?

GEN.FENECH
Yes.

LT.HICOX
I can tell you what it’s about,
it’s about Private Fredrick Zoller.
He’s the German Sgt.York.
Fenech can’t help suppress a smile, they have the right man.

GEN.FENECH
In attendance at this joyous Germatic
occasion, will be Goebbels, Gerring,
Boorman, and most of the German High
command, including all high ranking
officers of both The S.S., and, The
Gestapo. As well as luminaries of the
Nazi propaganda film industry.

LT.HICOX
The master race at play, aye?

GEN.FENECH
Basically, we have all our rotten
eggs in one basket. The objective of
Operation Kino…. Blow up the basket.

LT.HICOX
(Reciting a
a poem)
“…and like the snows of yesteryear,
gone from this earth”. Jolly good, sir.

GEN.FENECH
An American Secret Service outfit,
that lives deep behind enemy lines,
will be your assist. The Germans call
them; “The Basterds”.

LT.HICOX
“The Basterds”, never heard of them.

GEN.FENECH
Whole point of the secret service,
old boy, you not hearing of them.
But the Gerrys have heard of them,
because these yanks have been them
the devil. Their leader is a chap
named Lt.Aldo Raine. The Germans
call him, “Aldo the Apache”.

LT.HICOX
Why do they call him that?

GEN.FENECH
Best guess, is because he removes the
scalps of the Nazi dead.

LT.HICOX
Scalps, sir?

GEN.FENECH
The hair.
He runs his finger along his hairline.

GEN.FENECH
Like a red Injun.

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