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Inglourious Basterds Transcript

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Written by

Quentin Tarantino

1.

EXT – DAIRY FARM- DAY
The modest dairy farm in the countryside of Nancy, France (what the
French call cow country).
We Read a SUBTITLE in the sky above the farm house;

CHAPTER ONE

“ONCE UPON A TIME IN…

NAZI OCCUPIED FRANCE”
This SUBTITLE disappears, and is replaced by another one;

“1941
One year into the German
occupation of France”.
The farm consists of a house, small barn, and twelve cows spread
about.
The owner of the property, a bull of a man FRENCH FARMER, brings a axe
up and down on A tree stump blemishing his property. However simply by
sight, you’d never know if he’s been beating at this stump for the last
year, or just started today.

JULIE
One of his three pretty teenage daughters, is hanging up laundry on
the clothes line. As she hangs up a white bed sheet, she hears a
noise, moving the sheet aside she see’s;

JULIE’S POV:
A Nazi town car convertible, with two little nazi flags attached to
the hood, a NAZI SOLDIER behind the wheel, a NAZI OFFICER alone in the
back seat, following TWO OTHER NAZI SOLDIERS on motorcycles, coming up
over the hill on the country road leading to their farm.

JULIE
Pappa.
The French Farmer sinks his axe in the stump, looks over his shoulder,
and see’s the Germans approaching.
The FARMERS WIFE, CHARLOTTE comes to the doorway of their home,
followed by her TWO OTHER TEENAGE DAUGHTERS, and see the Germans
approaching.
The Farmer yells to his family in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

FARMER
Go back inside and shut the door.

IL

FARMER
(to Julie)
Julie, get me some water from the pump
to wash up with, then get inside with
your mother.
The young lady runs to the water pump by the house. She picks up a
basin, and begins pumping, after a few pumps, water comes out
splashing into the basin.
The French Farmer sits down on the stump he was previously chopping
away at, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wipes sweat from off
his face, and waits for the Nazi convoy to arrive. After living for
a year with the sword of Damocles suspended over his head, this may
very well be the end.
Julie finishes filling the water basin, and places it on the window
sill.

JULIE
Ready Pappa.

FARMER
Thank you darling, now go inside and
take care of your mother. Don’t run.
Julie walks inside the farm house and closes the door behind her.
As her father stands up from his stump, and moves over to the window
sill with the water basin…
.The SOUND of the ENGINES of the two motorcycles and car get LOUDER.
The Farmer SPLASHES water from the basin on his face and down his
front. He takes a towel off a nail, and wipes the excess water from
his face and chest, as he watches the two motorcycles, the one
automobile, and the four representatives of the National Socialist
Party come to a halt on his property.
We don’t move into them, but keep observing them from a distance, like
the Farmer.
The TWO NAZI MOTORCYCLIST are off their bikes, and standing at
attention next to them.
The NAZI DRIVER has walked around the automobile, and opened the door
for his superior.
The NAZI OFFICER says to The Driver in UNSUBTITLED GERMAN;

NAZI OFFICER
This is the property of Perrier LaPadite?

3

NAZI DRIVER
Yes heer Colonel.
The Nazi officer climbs out of the back the vehicle, carrying
in his left hand
n d

OFFICER
Herman, until I summon you, I am to be
left alone.

NAZI DRIVER
As you wish Heer Col.
The S.S. COLONEL yells to The Farmer in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

NAZI OFFICER
Is this the property of Perrier LaPadite?

FARMER
I am Perrier LaPadite.
The S.S. Colonel crosses the distance between them with long strides,
and says in French with a smile on his face;

NAZI OFFICER
It is a pleasure to meet you Monsieur
LaPadite, I am Colonel Hans Landa of
the S.S.
COLONEL.HANS LANDA offers the French Farmer PERRIER LAPADITE his hand.
The Frenchman takes the German hand in his and shakes it.

PERRIER
How may I help you?

COL LANDA
I was hoping you could invite me inside
your home and we may have a discussion.

INT – LAPADITE FARM HOUSE – DAY
The door to the farm house swings open, andtheaFarmer gesturestfor
the S.S. COL to enter. Removing his grey S.S. cap,
inside the Frenchman’s home.
Col Landa is immediately greeted with the sight of the Farmers wife,
and three pretty daughters standing together in the kitchen, smiling
in his direction.
The Farmer enters behind him, closing the door.

VA

PERRIER
Colonel Landa, this is my family.
The S.S. COL clicks his heels together, and takes the hand of the
French Farmers Wife…

COL LANDA
Col Hans Landa of the S.S. madame,
at your service.
He kisses her hand, then continues without letting go of his hostess
hand…

COL LANDA
please excuse my rude intrusion on your
routine.

FARMERS WIFE
Don’t be ridiculous, heer Col.
While still holding the French Woman’s hand, and looking into her
eyes, The S.S. Colonel says;

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, the rumors I have
heard in the village about your family
are all true. Your wife is a beautiful
woman.
His eyes leave the mother, and move to the three daughters.

COL.LANDA

(CON’ T )
And each of your daughters is more lovely
then the last.

PERRIER
Merci. Please have a seat.
The Farmer offers The S.S. Colonel a seat at the families wooden
dinner table. The Nazi officer excepts the French Farmers offer,
and lowers himself into the chair. Placing his grey S.S. cap on
the table, and keeping his black attache case on the floor by his
feet.
The Farmer (perfect host) turns to his Wife and says;

PERRIER
Charlotte, would you be so good as to get
The Colonel some wine?

COL LANDA
Merci be coupe Monsieur LaPadite, but no
wine. This being a dairy farm one would
be safe in assuming you have milk?

CHARLOTTE
Oui.

COL LANDA
Then milk is what I prefer.

CHARLOTTE
Very Well.
The mother of three, takes a craft of milk out of the ice box,
and pours a tall glass of the fresh white liquid for The Colonel.
The S.S. Colonel takes a long drink from the glass, then puts it down
LOUDLY on the wooden table.

COL LANDA
Monsieur, to both your family, and your
cows, I say; Bravo.

PERRIER
Merci.

COL LANDA
Please, join me at your
table.

PERRIER
Very well.
The French Farmer sit’s at his wooden dinner table across from
The Nazi.
The Women remain standing.
Col Landa leans forward, and says to the Farmer in a low tone of

CONFIDENTIALLY;

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, what we have to
discuss,’ would be better discussed in
private. You’ll notice, I left my men
outdoors- if it wouldn’t offend them,
could you ask your lovely ladies to step
outside.

PERRIER
You are right.

G.

PERRIER
(to his women)
Charlotte, would you take the girls
outside. The Colonel and I need to have
a few words.
The Farmers wife follows her husbands orders, and gathers her
daughter’s taking them outside, closing the door behind them.
The Two Men are alone, at the farmers dinner table, in the Farmers
humble home.

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, I regret to inform
you I’ve exhausted the extent of my
French. To continue to speak it so
inadequately, would only serve to
embarrass me. However, I’ve been lead
to believe you speak English quite well?

PERRIER
Oui.

COL LANDA
Well, it just so happens, I do as well.
This being your house, I ask your
permission to switch to English, for the
remainder of the conversation?

PERRIER
By all means.
They now speak ENGLISH;

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, while I’m very
familiar with you, and your family.
I have no way of knowing if you are
familiar with who I am. Are you aware
of my existence?
The Farmer answers;

PERRIER
Yes.

COL LANDA
This is good. Are you aware of the job
I’ve been ordered to carry out in France?

I

PERRIER
Yes.
The Colonel drinks more milk.

COL LANDA
Please tell me what you’ve heard?

PERRIER
I’ve heard, the fuhrer has put you in
charge of rounding up the Jews left in
France who are ether hiding, or passing
for Gentile.
The S.S.Colonel smiles.

COL LANDA
The Fuhrer couldn’t of said it better
himself.

PERRIER
But the meaning of your visit, pleasant
though it is, is mysterious to me.
The Germans looked through my house nine
months ago for hiding Jews, and found
nothing.

COL LANDA
I’m aware of that, I read the report on
this area. But like any enterprise,
when under new management, there’s
always a slight duplication of efforts.
Most of it being a complete waste of time,
but needs to be done nevertheless.
I just have A few questions Monsieur
LaPadite, if you can assist me with
answers, my department can close the
file on your family.
Taking his black leather attache case, and placing it on the table, he
takes out a folder from inside. He also extracts a expensive black
fountain pen from his uniform front pocket. Opening the folder, and
referring to it;

COL LANDA
Now before the occupation there were
four Jewish families in this area, all
dairy farmers like yourself.
The Loveitts, The Doleracs, The Rollins,
and The Dreyfus’s, is that correct?

8,

PERRIER
To my knowledge those were the Jewish
families among the dairy farmers.
– Heer Colonel, would it disturb you if
I smoked my pipe?
Looking up from his papers.

COL LANDA
Please, Monsieur LaPadite, it is your
house, make yourself comfortable.
The Farmer gets up from the table, goes to his shelf over the
fireplace, and removes from it a WOODEN BOX that contains all the
fixins to his pipe. He sits back down at the table with his Nazi
guest.
As The Farmer loads the bowel of his pipe with tobacco, sets a match
to it, and begins slowly puffing, making it red hot, the S.S. Colonel
studies the papers in front of him.

COL LANDA
Now according to these papers, all
the Jewish families in this area have
been accounted for – except, The Dreyfusis.
Somewhere in the last year it would appear
they have vanished.
Which leads me to the conclusion that
they’ve ether made good their escape,
or someone is very successfully hiding
them.
(looking up from
his papers, across
the table at The

FARMER)
What have you heard about The Dreyfusis
Monsieur LaPadite?

PERRIER
Only rumors –

COL LANDA
– I love rumors! Facts can be so
misleading, where rumors, true or false
are often reveling. So Monsieur LaPadite,
what rumors have you heard regarding
The Dreyfusis?
The Farmerlooks at Landa.

I.

COL LANDA
Speak freely Monsieur LaPadite, I want
to hear what the rumors are, not who told
them to you.
The Farmer puffs thoughtfully on his pipe.

PERRIER
Again, this is just a rumor – but we
heard the Dreyfusis had made there way
into Spain.

COL LANDA
So the rumors you’ve heard have been of
escape?

PERRIER
Yes.

COL LANDA
Were the LaPadites and the Dreyfusis
friendly?
As the Farmer answers this question, the CAMERA LOWERS behind his
chair, to the floor, past the floor, to a small area underneath the
floorboards revealing;

FIVE HUMAN BEINGS
lying vertically underneath the farmers floorboards. These human
beings are The DREYFUSIS, who have lived lying down underneath the
dairy farmers house for the past year. But one couldn’t call what The
Dreyfusis have done for the last year living. This family has done the
only thing they could, hidden from a occupying army that wishes to
exterminate them.

PERRIER
We were families in the same community,
in the same bussiness. I wouldn’t say
we were friends, but members of the same
community, we had common interest.
The S.S. Colonel takes in this answer, seems to except it, then moves
to the next question.

COL LANDA
Having never met the Dreyfusis, would
you confirm for me the exact members of
the household and their names?

10.

PERRIER
There were five of them.
The father, Jacob… .wife, Miram…
her brother, Bob …

COL LANDA
– How old is Bob?

PERRIER
Thirty – thirty one?

COL LANDA
Continue.

PERRIER
And the children… Amos… and Shoshanna.

COL LANDA
Ages of the children?

PERRIER
Amos – six – I believe. And Shosanna,
was fifteen or sixteen, I’m not really
sure.

CUT TO

UXT – DAIRY FARM – DAY
The Mother and her three Daughters finish taking the laundry off the
clothes line.
They can’t hear anything going on inside.
e three Nazi Soldiers watch the three Daughters.

SACK TO LANDA AND PERRIER

COL LANDA
Well I guess that should do it.
Be begins gathering up his papers, and putting them back into his
ttache case.
the Farmer, cool as a cucumber, puffs on his pipe.

COL LANDA
However, before I go, could I have another
glass of your delicious milk?

it.

PERRIER
But of course.
Farmer stands up, goes over to the ice box, and takes out the
aft of milk. As he walks over and fills the Nazi Colonel’s glass,
German Officer talks.

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, are you aware of the
nickname the people of France have given
me?

PERRIER
I have no interest in such things.

COL LANDA
But you are aware of what they call me?

PERRIER
I’m aware.

COL LANDA
What are you aware of?

PERRIER
That they call you, “The Jew Hunter”.

COL LANDA
Precisely! Now I understand your
trepidation in repeating it.
Before he was assassinated, Heydrich
apparently hated the moniker the good
people of Prague bestowed on him.
Actually why he would hate the name,
“The Hangman”, is baffling to me
It would appear he did everything in
his power to earn it. But I, on the
other hand, love my unofficial title,
precisely because I’ve earned it.
As “The Jew Hunter” enjoys his fresh milk, he continues to theorize
with the french farmer.

COL LANDA
The feature that makes me such a effective
hunter of the Jews, is, as opposed to most
German soldiers, I can think like a jew.
where they can only think like a German,
or more precisely, a German soldier.
Now if one were to determine what attribute
the German people share with a beast, it
would be the cunning and predatory instinct
of a hawk.

COL LANDA

(CON’T)
Negro’s – gorilla’s – brain – lips –
smell – physical strength – penis size.
But, if one were to determine what attributes
the jews share with a beast, it would be
that of the rat.
Now the Fuhrer and Gobbles propaganda
have said pretty much the same thing.
Where our conclusions differ, is I don’t
consider the comparison a insult.
Consider for a moment, the world a rat
lives in. It’s a hostile world indeed.
If a rat were to scamper through your
front door right now, would you greet it
with hostility?

PERRIER
I suppose I would.

COL LANDA
Has a rat ever done anything to you to
create this animosity you feel toward
them?

PERRIER
Rat’s spread disease, they bite people –

COL LANDA
– Unless some fool is stupid enough to
try and handle a live one, rats don’t
make it a practise of biting human beings.
Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague,
but that was some time ago. In all your
born days, has a rat ever caused you to
be sick a day in your life? I purpose to
you, any disease a rat could spread,
a squirrel could equally carry.
Yet I assume you don’t share the same
animosity with squirrels that you do with
rats, do you?

PERRIER
No.

COL LANDA
Yet, they are both rodent’s, are they
not? And except for the fact that one
has a big bushy tail, while the other
has a long repugnt tail of rodent skin,
they even rather look alike, don’t they?

13.6

PERRIER
It is a interesting thought,
beer Colonel.

COL LANDA
However, interesting as the thought may
be, it makes not one bit of difference
to how you feel. If a rat were to scamper
through your door, this very minute,
would you offer it a saucer of your
delicious milk?

PERRIER
Probably not.

COL LANDA
I didn’t think so. You don’t like them.
You don’t really know why you don’t like
them. All you know is, you find them
repulsive.
(let’s the

METAPHOR
sink in)
What a tremendously hostile world a rat
must endure. Yet, not only does he
survive, he thrives. And the reason for
this, is because our little foe has a
instinct for survival and presavation
second to none. And that Monsieur, is
what a jew shares with a rat.
Consequently, a German soldier, conducts
a search of a house suspected of hiding
jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks
in the barn, he looks in the attic,
he looks in the cellar – he looks
everywhere, he would hide. But there are
many places it would never occur to a
hawk to hide. However the reason the
Fuhrer brought me off my Alps in Austria,
and placed me in French cow country today,
is because it does occur to me. Because
I’m aware what tremendous feats human
beings are capable of once they abandon
dignity.
(Changing tone)
May I smoke my pipe as well?
Th e Farmer’s cool facade is little by little eroding.

PERRIER
Please, Cononel, make yourself at home.

13.
The Jew Hunter, removes both a pipe and a bag of tobacco fixings.
The pipe, strangely enough, is a Calabash, made from a “S” shaped goard
kith a yellow skin, made famous by Sherlock Holmes.
A the Nazi Colonel, busies himself with his smoking life, he
ontinues to hold court at the Frenchmans table.

COL LANDA
The other mistake the German soldier
make is their severe handling of the
citizens who give shelter and aid to
the Jews. These citizens are not enemies
of the state. They are simply confused
people, trying to make some sense out of
the madness war creates.
These citizens do not need punishing.
They simply need to be reminded of their
duty in war time.
Let’s use you as a example Monsieur
LaPadite. In this war, you have found
yourself in the middle of a conflict
that has nothing to do with yourself,
your lovely ladies, or your cows – yet,
here you are.
So Monsieur LaPadite, let me purpose
a question. In this time of war, what is
your number one duty? Is it to fight the
Germans in the name of France to your
last breath? Or, is it to harass the
occupying army to the best of your
ability? Or, is it to protect the poor
unfortunate victims of warfare who can
not protect themselfs?
Or, is your number one duty in this time
of bloodshed, to protect those very
beautiful women who constitute your
family?
The Colonel lets the last statement stand.

COL LANDA
That was a question Monsieur LaPadite.
In this time of war, What do you consider
your number one duty?

PERRIER
To protect my family.

COL LANDA
Now, my job dictates, that I must have
my men enter your home, and conduct a
thorough search, before I can officially
cross your families name off my list.

COL LANDA

(CON’T)
And if there are any irregularities to be
found, rest assured, they will be.
That is unless, you have something to tell
me that will make the conducting of a
search unnecessary.

(PAUSE)
I might add also, that any information
that makes the preforming of My duty
easier, will not be met with punishment.
Actually quite the contrary, it will be
met with reward.
And that reward will be, your family
will cease to be harassed in anyway,
by the German military during the rest
of our occupation of your country.
The Farmer, pipe in mouth, stares across the table at his German
opponent.

COL LANDA
You are sheltering enemies of the state,
are you not?

PERRIER
Yes.

COL LANDA
Your sheltering them underneath your
floorboards aren’t you?

PERRIER
Yes.

COL LANDA
Point out to me the area’s where their
hiding.
The Farmer points out the area’s on the floor with the Dreyfusis are
underneath.

COL LANDA
Since I haven’t heard any disturbance,
I assume that while their listening,
they don’t speak english?

PERRIER
Yes .

COL LANDA
I’m going to switch back to french now,
and I want you to follow my masquerade
– is that clear?

PERRIER
Yes.
Colonel Landa stands up from the table, and switching to FRENCH says

SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

COL LANDA
Monsieur LaPadite, I thank you for milk,
and your hospitably. I do believe our
business here is done.
The Nazi Officer opens the front door, and silently motions for his
son to approach the house.

COL LANDA
Mademoiselle LaPadite, I thank you for
your time, we shant be bothering your
family any longer.
Yet the LaPadite women watch the Nazi soldiers, machine guns at ready,
approach the house.
The Soldiers enter the doorway, Col Landa, silently points out area of
the floor the Jews are hiding under.

COL LANDA
So, Monsieur and Madame LaPadite
I bid you adieu.
otions to the Soldiers with his index finger.
wy TEAR UP the wood floor with MACHINE GUN FIRE.
The little farm house is filled with SMOKE, DUST, SPLINTERS, SCREAMS,
0ULLET CASINGS, and even alittle BLOOD.
With a hand motion from the Colonel, the Soldiers cut off their
gunfire. The Colonel keeps his finger in the air to indicate silence.

UNDERNEATH THE FLOORBOARDS
The entire Dreyfus family lay dead. Except for sixteen year old
$HOSANNA, who miraculously escaped being struck by the nazi’s bullets.
With her dead family surrounding her, the young girl goes for freedom
(represented by wire mesh vent).

L LANDA
ears movement underneath the floor, looks down and see’s a SHAPE
Wing forward between the planks in the floor.

COL LANDA
It’s the girl. Nobody moves

I’.

T
KICKED open, the girl SPRINGS out.

COL LANDA
ae he crosses the floor, he see’s the young girl RUNNING towards the
cover of the woods. He unlatches the window, and opens it. Shosanna
to perfectly FRAMED in the window sill.

1SANNA
RUNNING towards woods. Farm house and Col in the window in B.G.

LTHY BAREFEET
LAPPING against wet grass.
Qt! SHOSANNMA’ S FACE
same as a animal being chased by a predator FLIGHT – PANIC – FEAR

SNOSANNA’S POV
the safety of tree’s, getting closer.

COL LANDA
Pramed by the window, takes his LUGAR, and straight arm aims at the
fleeing Jew, cocking back the hammer with his thumb.

CU COL LANDA
SLOW ZOOM into his eyes as he aims.

PROFILE CU SHOSANNA
Sod dash for life.

L LANDA
changes his mind. He yells to the rat fleeing the trap, heading for the
safety of the wood pile, in FRENCH SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH;

COL LANDA
Au revoir, Shosanna! Till we meet again!

HOSANNA
Maces it to the woods, and is gone.
T h e S.S. Colonel closes the window.

17.

EXT – NAZI TOWN CAR (MOVING)- DAY
diihe ac seat of the convertible, that’sa stsn tColonel Hans Lan
speeding away from the French farm house.
Landa speaks to his Driver in GERMAN, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;

COL LANDA
Herman, I sense` a question on your lips?
Out with it?

DRIVER
Why did yoy allow a enemy of the state
to escape?

COL LANDA
Oh, I don’t think the state is in too
much danger, do you?

DRIVER
I suppose not.

COL LANDA
I’m glad you see it my way. Besides,
not putting a bullet in the back of a
fifteen year old girl, and allowing
her to escape, our not nessessarlly
the same thing. She’s a young girl, no food,
no shelter, no shoes, who’s just witnessed
the massacre of her entire family.
She may not survive the night. And after
word spreads about what happened today,
it’s highly unlikely she will find any
willing farmers to extend her aid.
If I had to guess her fate, I’d say she’ll
probably be turned in by some neighbour.
Or, she’ll be spotted by some German
soldier. Or, we’ll find her body in the
woods, dead from starvation or exposure.
Or, perhaps-she’ll survive. She will
elude capture. She will escape to America.
She will move to New York city.
Where she will be elected, President of
the United States.
The S.S. Colonel chuckles at his little funny.

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