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Death Proof Transcript

What?

Don’t play dumbass with me.

I’ve been up all night.

I’m still a little drunk and…

I have a hangover.

I should be in my hotel room asleep.

Not fucking around here on Tobacco Road.

But because Zoe wanted to drive
some fucking “Vanishing Point” car

I’m here.

Now you two got the balls to ask me – No…

Scratch that — tell me,

I gotta make conversation with Tom Joad

While the cool kids get to go out and play?

Bullshit on that.

It ain’t like that.

Then what’s it like, Kim?

You guys are our collateral.

He’s never gonna go for it if we all go.

I really think one human
being will be collateral enough.

You’re not gonna wanna do
what we’re doing.

What, drive a car?

We’re doing more than that.

What, drive it fast?

We’re doing more than that.

Actually, we’re paying you a compliment.

Cause we’re gonna do some stupid shit.

But that’s okay, we’re stunt people,
we ain’t got good sense.

But you got good sense.

And anybody with good sense,

… ain’t gonna wanna do what we’re doing.

How do you know I don’t wanna do it?

Cause you’re a mom.

Yeah.

You know, we’re supposed to
be this big “Posse”

But that’s the excuse you guys use whenever
you want to exclude me from something.

So what is it you two daredevils are doing

That if I’m just so uncool,
I couldn’t possibly understand.

You know, we’re kinda
conning this guy, so…

Maybe it’s best we don’t go into detail
about it while he’s watching us.

Besides…

He’s probably not gonna
let us do it anyway.

Okay.

How about this?

I’ll talk him into it.

But if I talk him into it, I go along.

How you gonna do that?

That’s my problem.

But don’t worry.

He’ll say yes.

What are you gonna do, blow him?

No.

I’m gonna insinuate that
Lee’s gonna blow him.

Not really.

But let me handle it.

We got a deal?

Okay mommy, listen up.

You wanna hang with the cool kids,
you got to be cool.

We take you along,
you don’t say shit.

You don’t even say crap.

You just sit in the back, and I don’t wanna hear
a peep outta your ass. You understand?

I’m serious now.

You starting us, we’re pullin’ over
to the side of the road

Kickin’ your ass out
and pickin’ you up later.

Agreed.

Okay.

Go work your magic.

Hello, sir.
– Hello.

Hello, what’s your name?
– Jasper.

Hello, Jasper, I’m Abernathy.

Aber-what?

Abernathy.

What’s your first name?

That is my first name.

What kind of first name is that?

You know what, just call me Abby.

Okay, Abby.

Jasper.

We were wondering if my friends
and I could take the car out

… for a little test drive out on our own.

You know just to see
if we’re comfortable in it.

Why would I do
something stupid like that?

To better sell your automobile.

How do I know y’all ain’t
just gonna steal it?

Four reasons actually.

One, we’re not thieves.

Two, that would be rude.

Three, we’re staying at the
Days Inn in town.

You can call the hotel, check with management.
We’re registered for the next month.

Actually, Zoe is not, but Kim and I are.

So we’re totally trackdownable.
– Who’s Kim?

The colored girl?

Yes.

Kim would be the girl of color.

And reason number four
and the most important.

While we’re taking the car
out for a little spin

That’ll give you a better
opportunity to get acquainted

…with our other friend.

Lee.

Why does she look kinda familiar?

That would be because
she’s a famous actress.

Why she dressed like that?

Well you see, we’re making a
Hollywood movie in town.

And it’s a cheerleader movie, and
she’s one of the cheerleaders.

What’s a cheerleader movie?

A movie about cheerleaders.

Is it a porno movie?

Yes.

It is.

But don’t mention it.

She’s shy.

Lee, this is Jasper.

Jasper, Lee.

You two kids stay out of trouble.

Hey good looking!

Be back to pick you up later.

Gulp.

You thinking what I’m thinkin’?

I think I’m thinkin’ it.

What are you and you thinkin’?

I’m thinking we told your ass
to shut the fuck up.

Where are you going?

You stay put.
– Yo, I gotta take a…

So you’re ready do to this?

Are you sure?

Well..

I always don’t wanna
do it right before I’m gonna do it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Cause I don’t wanna do it.

Kim.
– I’m passing it.

Fuck, if you’re gonna take
the piss out of it…

I’m just saying.

You wanna start right on top?

Practically, it doesn’t count.

Then we start on the top.

Here, your glove.

No no no no.

I’m wearing the jacket.

This is my jacket.

Ain’t you promised to
be my slave or some shit?

You’re on the hood.

Yo, I think I hear a car coming.

Give me your belt.

Oh, this is my cute shit.

Fuck that. Get Abernathy’s belt.

Give me your belt.
– No. Prada.

Come on, give me the belt.

Magic word.

Please give me the belt.

Just cause you asked nicely.

It’s nice to be nice, Kim.

Whatever.
– You know what?

Don’t even fuckin’ think about asking me
next time you want me to do your hair.

And your ass gonna do it.

Yeah and your ass pretty please bitch.

Because that’s what you do when no one
else is looking. Why is that fuckin’ hard?

Abernathy?

Don’t get on my nerves right now.

I got shit on my mind.

Hey, Abernathy.

Check this out.

What the fuck
are you guys doing?

What does that mean?

Is that fast enough for your loony ass?

Abernathy, get your ass up here.

Shake it out bitch.

You want it fuckin’ faster?

Oh my God.

What the fuck —

Now.

Did you do something to him?
Did you say something?

Nothing.

Shit.

I’m sorry I called you black bitch.

I forgive you.

Get away.

Redneck lunatic bastard.

Get away from me.

I’m scared, Kim.
I’m really scared.

Fear nobody. Just hold on.

Do you wanna get hot?
You wanna get hot?

Suck on this for a while.

Leave us alone.

Fuck you, motherfucker.

Get ready to fly, bitch.

Ladies.

That was fun.

Well…

Adios.

Bitch.

I’m okay.

Oh shit. God damn it.

Oh you fuckin bitch.

Of course you are.
What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?
Zoe the fuckin’ Cat.

That was a close one.

You guys look like shit.

Who lied?

That shit!

Are you okay?

That’s life, and that’ll be sweet.

So?

Where is the maniac?

I shot him and his spunk ass sped off.

Do you wanna go and get him?

Oh hell yeah.

Honey.

I think you might wanna get out.

Fuck that shit.

Let’s kill this bastard.

Okay, get your ass in
the back, let’s go.

Wait.
– Where the fuck you’re going?

Sweet. Let’s go.

Do it.

Do it.

Now I’ll explain.

Where do you think you’re fucking going?

Don’t like it up the ass, do you?
You redneck lunatic bastard.

I’m the horniest muthafukka on the road.

Get him. Get him.

Motherfucker move.

Watch it.

Oh you know I can’t let you go.

Without tappin’ that ass.

One…

Kim?

…more

…time.

Go ya.

C’mon.

Don’t you like us motherfucker.
We bet motherfucker. We bet.

Who’s laughing now bitch?

Hey sucker.

You’re not such a lunatic bastard.

I’m sorry.
– What?

I didn’t mean anything.
I was just playing around.

Ah, he was just playing around.
– He was just playing!

Now I ain’t playing with you.

Oh, look out! Look out!

Watch your side!

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

It’s about time.

Please don’t dead end.

Please don’t dead end.

Please don’t dead end.

There the motherfucker is.
Go. Go. Get him.

Help me.

Be careful my right arm’s broken.

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