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Death Proof Transcript

Get the rest of the shit upstairs
and we’ll blow this entire floor.

Get Lewis down here.

He’s getting his dick wet, Sir.

Get him the fuck down here now.

Lewis.

Listen.

Where are my men?

I’ve got several right here.

What the fuck is this?

Their balls, sweetheart.

Let us go.

Tell me why we should.

Because I earned it.

How you figure that?

You want the story?

I spin it for you quick.

Turmoil in some nasty caves
on the Afghan border.

Me and my men walking around
with our dicks in our hands.

And our balls in or throats.

Looking for America’s most wanted.

Bin Laden
– Yeah.

For once I ran towards
right on the money.

I come around a corner.

Bam. There he is looking
me right in the eyes.

Wait.

You killed Bin Laden?

I put two in his heart.

One in his computer.

So that was you.

Yeah.

That was me.

He wasn’t supposed to be there.

We weren’t supposed to be there.

And I sure as fuck wasn’t supposed
to be the one who punches % ticket.

So instead of a chest full of medals
we got a face full of DC2.

No cure.

There is none till we find
somebody from the other side

… willing to sell us batches of this shit.

Science comes first.
But business comes a close fucking second.

Then you realized if you could infect
a large enough populace

… and experiment on its survivals

You’d find a cure.

I swore to my men that I’d do everything
in my power to keep them alive.

That’s what I intend to do, Wray.

Understand…

I never had a choice.

Neither do I, sir.

God bless you and
your service to this country.

Are you a doctor?

I was earlier tonight.

I always wanted to be a doctor.

Instead, I can do this.

Useless talent No. 66.

I’m very pliable.

A girlfriend of mine had a theory.

She said at some point in your life

You find a use for every useless
talent you’ve ever had.

It’s like connecting the dots.

I’m not that optimistic.

I feel like I’m sinking
down the drain and I can’t get out.

She’d say

When you’re stuck in that spiral

You reach up.

What if there’s nothing up there.

Just reach up.

You’re a dancer.

I was earlier tonight.

Well, I’m pulling you out of retirement.

I’m starved for entertainment, baby.
And that means you.

Radio.

Well, baby. Now.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Keep dancing.

I have seen me some
crazy ass shit in my day.

But I ain’t never seen me
a one-legged stripper.

I’ve seen me a stripper with one breast.

And I’ve seen me a
stripper with twelve toes.

And I’ve seen me a
stripper with no brains at all.

But I ain’t never seen me
a one-legged stripper.

And I’ll bet them rock.

Dance bitch!

Break a leg.

Break it off.

Dance for me, motherfucker.

You thought it was pretty funny, didn’t you?

Actually

Yes.

You gave me some wood?

Now I’m gonna give you some…

… fucking wood!

Your Gas! You need your gas!

Fucking gas. Fuck it!

I’m just gonna have to make this quick.

Where did you get that?

Useless talent No. 37.

I broke my leg.
– Okay.

I made you something.

I do believe in you.

I always have.

I believe that you can be better.

You deserve better.

Even better than me.

Right now..

I need you to become..

Who you were meant to be.

Stand.

Open that door, will you baby?

We’ve destroyed most of the tanks.

Any that are left we’ll get
on our way to the helicopters.

There are two helicopters.

Big enough to take all of us.

Who can fly?

Can anyone else fly a helicopter?

I can fly, but…
No way in hell I’m gonna fly on that.

Okay. Cool. I’ll fly.

I think we’re gonna stay here, Wray.

Take care of this for me then, Sheriff.

With pleasure.

Two minutes.

Brother’s a good man, JT.

Best in Texas.

Hop on.

No. The other way.

No.

The other way.

The helicopters are on the
other side of this wall.

We make a run for it.

No. If we all get killed,
there’s no stopping this plague.

Don’t you get it?

We’re the antidote.

Was there another way around?

Wait here.

I suppose there are any other
biochemical engineers around?

I think there is no.

We have to get over that wall.

I was thinking we could build us a new place.

Right there where the old one was.

You cook.

I work the back.

You don’t make that rent so goddamn high.

Share the recipe.

We’ll share the rent.

Start at 250 degrees.

I knew it.

For how long?
– For about …

Twelve pounds.

Twelve hours.

Wrapped in tinfoil, right?

I don’t use no goddamn foil.

Damn.

Tomatoes?
Fresh?

Canned.

No shit?
– Yeah.

Score me some?
– Oh, yeah.

Cause we’re brothers.

Thank you for this.

You just remember.

You gotta take this recipe to your grave.

I think I can goddamn guarantee that.

That’s our cue.

Cherry, darling.

Follow you.

Let’s go.

Wray!

Okay.

Can you do that? Cause we’re leaving.

They told me I’d find you here.

I was beginning to lose hope.

I’m sorry.

But I lied.

I did want to hurt you.

My turn.

No more dead bodies for Daddy tonight.

Never liked that son of a bitch.

Was as useless as a pecker on a pope.

Don’t touch anything.

He said not to touch anything.

Shut up.

Sit down and don’t fucking touch anything.

Everybody sit down.

Go. Leave me.

I am not leaving you here like this.

Motherfuckers around here eat road kill.

You see?

I’m funny.

I made you laugh.

Go to the ocean.

Put your backs to it.
Protect yourselves there.

I’m not leaving you Wray.

Two against the world.

There will be.

I promise.

I never miss.

Don’t worry, baby.

You’ll find your way.

It’s like you said it would be, Wray.

I’m like you said I would be.

I find the lost.

The weary.

Those who have no hope.

I find them.

And I lead them.

To a land we’ve made for ourselves.

The land by the sea.

It’s beautiful.

She’s beautiful.

I wish you could see us.

Us two.

It’s like you said it would be.

Two against the world baby.

Two against the world.

This film is a brilliant achievement in motion picture history.

Finally, the truth about Hitler’s diabolical plans
to create a race of superwomen can be told.

Werewolf Women of the S.S.

Welcome to Death Camp 13.

Home of the Nazis’ diabolical plan.

To create an army of super werewolf soldiers.

This is projected.

Its failure will be your demise.

… and the end of Germany, Borman.

You have been chosen.

Rejoice.

They have found the perfect solution.

The She-Devils of Belzac.

Can they alone supply the blood
needed to save Hitler’s mad dreams?

Or with the pride of Germany fall into ruin?

This is my project.

We are now in total control of Pure Wolf.

Featuring Udo Kier

Sheri Moon Zombie

Tom Towles

This is my Mecca!

If you..

are thinking

of going

into

this house

If you …

… are thinking

… of opening

… this door.

If you…

… are thinking

… of checking out

… the basement.

Don’t look behind.

Don’t look in there.

Don’t look up.

Don’t look anywhere.

Don’t scream for help.

Don’t even breathe.

Timing & Text by Bodza

If you are thinking of seeing this film alone.

In the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts

The 4th Thursday in November
is the most celebrated day in the year.

The table is set.

The festivities have begun.

For the uninvited guests to arrive.

And this year there will be…

… no leftovers.

White meat.

Dark meat.

All will be carved.

Come on Judy. How about it?

Happy Thanksgiving, baby.

Cool it, Judy.

We’re safe.

Bobby’s here.

It’s blood.

Son of a bitch.

Arrive hungry.

Happy Thanksgiving, Grandma.

From director Eli Roth.

You’ll come home for the holidays

In a body bag.

This February.

Get more out of life.

Go out to a movie.

Hold on, I gotta come up!

I gotta take the world’s biggest fuckin’ piss!

We can’t be late!

We won’t!

Who’s holding?
– If you’re not, then nobody.

We were kinda hoping you were.

Yeah, how are you not holding?

Jesus Christ, Shanna.

It’s not my fucking job to supply you all
with weed when we go out.

Ah. Whoa Whoa, little lady.

You’re getting angry kinda quick, don’tcha think?

I was just teasing you.
– I’m not angry…

It just would be nice if ya’ll didn’t just
count on me all the fuckin’ time.

And surprise me every
once in a while with pot.

Okay, mean girl in a high school movie.

All right. C’mon guys, don’t fight.
I’ll pay for it when we get some.

One, it’s not about the money.

It’s about the pain in the ass of scoring,

And two, we’re not really fighting.

Arlene, you’ve forgotten what
hanging out with Jungle Julia’s like.

That wasn’t a fight.

That was Julia acting like a grumpy bitch.

And me calling her on it and
indulging her at the same time.

Billboard.

Okay. Is Christian Simonson gonna be there?

You bet your ass he is.
– Christian Simonson the filmmaker’s in town.

He’s got a big thing for Julia.

If he had a big thing for me,
he’d fuckin’ call me.

As opposed to disappearing for six months.

And he’d get his ass down
here more often than he does.

And on my birthday he’d
give me a fucking phone call.

But other than that, he’s putty in my hands.

So what’s the plan, man?

Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero’s.

Touch base with Chris and Jessie.

Tell them about later
and make damn sure they come.

Those other guys will be waiting for us
to join at the Texas Chilli Parlor.

Oh shit.

Speaking of which?

What happened with you and Nate last night?

Well you know not much.
We just fuckin’ met each other.

I mean if you don’t bust their balls a little bit
they’re never gonna respect ya’.

Okay. We’re pretty clear
on what it is you didn’t do.

How about enlightening us on
what it is you did do?

Nothing to write home about.

We just made out on the couch
for about twenty minutes.

Dressed, half-dressed or naked?

Dressed. I said we made out.

We didn’t do “the thing”.

Excuse me for living but what is “the thing”?

You know it’s everything but.

They call that “the thing”?

I call it “the thing”.

Do guys like “the thing”?

They like it better than no-thing.

Yeah sure.

Oh yeah, I wanna get back to
what it is you did do.

So you’re making out
on the couch with Nate, right?

Correct.
– Whose couch?

His or the one in your hotel room?

What am I stupid over here?

Mine.

Were you making out sitting up
or lying down?

We started sitting up,
we worked our way to lying down.

Humm. The plot thickens.
Who was on top?

I was straddling him.

So what about tonight?
– Well, we’ll see, Shanna.

I mean I like Nate.
He’s cute, he’s a pretty good kisser.

But it ain’t a done deal.

Yeah, fuck Nate.

I mean he’s cute an all, but Jessie
Letterman’s gonna be all over her.

Jessie Letterman the Austin director
who did “Potheads”?

He’s a good friend.

Maybe they can bring some pot.

Fuck that. No.

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