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Death Proof Transcript

Grindhouse (Death Proof and Planet Terror) Script

They called him Machete.

Selling the harsh day for the hard one.

100 for ruffin.

Get in.

125 for accepting.

So which?

Have you ever killed anyone before?

As you may know

illegal aliens such as yourself

are being forced out of our country

at an alarming rate.

For the good of other people.

Our new senator must die.

And for that I will pay you $150,000.


He was given an offer he couldn’t refuse.

I cost the most.

Cause I’m the best there is.

Set up. Double crossed.

And left for dead.

I took a vow of peace.

And now you want me to help
you kill all these men?

Yes, bro.

I mean paltry.

So what I can do?

He knows the score.

Where are my wife and daughter?

He gets the women.

And he kills the bad guys.

You know that a Mexican day-labor

is a goddam federal?

But they soon realize.

He’s coming after us.

They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.




Please father, have mercy.

God has mercy, I don’t.

If you’re gonna hire Machete
to kill the bad guy

You better make damn sure the bad guy

… isn’t you.


Rated X.

Brought to you from your friends
at the Weinstein Company.

The roofer is in the house.

God damn it, girls.

If you’re gonna do that shit, do it on stage.

Smoking hot.

Cherry darling, I told you too
many fucking times.

You can’t be up there crying
and all that shit.

You know what go-go dance is?

Useless talent No. 12?

No. It’s a happy dance.

You’re up there and you dance happy.
It’s go go. Not cry cry.

I’m quitting.

You say that at least one night a week.

I mean it this time.

I need a dramatic change in my life.

I’ve always said you’re funny.

But if you don’t stop all that crying and shit
I might have to fire your fucking ass.

And I don’t wanna fire your ass ’cause
I love looking at your ass.

Any girl leaving early
must check out with their finger

and have a bye-bye slip.

Here is my finger.

And here is my bye-bye slip.


All right boys. Come on.

All right. All right.
Come on.

Wait here, Lieutenant.

I’ll handle this.

Hey, Abby.

I can see you’ve had a spot of trouble, Romey.

Would you like to tell me what happened?

They escaped.

All three?


I don’t know…

I don’t know how they did it.
Just… They got out…

I’m sorry, Romey.
But I just don’t trust you anymore.

And you know the rules.

I’m out. I swear, Abby. I’m..

You’re not gonna see me anymore.

Not so fast.

I also want your balls.

I’m really quite attached to them.

Oh, sweetheart.

I was really attached to my specimens.

Now they’re out there
in the night doing God knows what.

I can’t do it Abby. Please..
Please, Abby.

Let me go you fuckers.
Son of a bitch. Abby!

Listen. You don’t need, Abby.

There’s more.
There’s more I can get you all you’ll ever need.

Fucking fuzzy.
Let me go you son of a bitch.

I can get you more. No!

Pick this up please.

Where is the shit?

The shit’s right there.

The deal is still good.


It’s not.

Hell down on me.

Now I want all of it.

Looks like I got you by the balls, Abby.


I ask you one more time.





Ah, bulls.

Get that thing away from my pumps.

It’s just overheating.

I need to get to town.

It’s just a stripped radiator cab.

Water leaks when the heat’s up.

No pressure.

Are you OK?

I’m just Cherry.

Wanna have a seat anywhere?
I’ll be right in.

Here. Take this with you.

Not your good spring water?

Ain’t nothing good about it.
Bottled myself.

I get it right there out of them.



We’re serving inside tonight.

Best barbecue in Texas.
Round the clock.

I gotta go.

Saving lives? Are you?

How did you know that?

Now that’s a rump roast.

I couldn’t get off work this week.

But you only have to stay till ten.

A friend of mine will be here before
ten to pick up Tony.

I’m gonna eat your brains and
gain your knowledge.

What did I tell you?
No playing with toys at the table.

Didn’t I tell you that?
– Yeah.

There’s a packed suitcase under his bed.

Give it to Tony to take with
him when my friend picks him up.

I’ll leave him watching TV.

But you need to be here in
the next 20 minutes.

Thank you.

Hey, what happened to your tooth?
– Fell out.

Say a prayer for your old man.

“No dead bodies for Dada tonight.”

No dead bodies for Daddy tonight.

– Amen.

Who was that you were talking to?
– Baby-sitter.

She’s on her way.

How’s it going, JT?
– All right.

Still open I see.
– Oh yeah. All night.

Free of charge.
Tonight is a special night.

What’s so special about tonight?

Been open 25 years.

You’re the second person
to show up tonight.

Who’s the first?

Right there.

Must be passing through.

Seems only strangers eat here.

I still eat here, JT.

Yeah, you sure do.

By the way don’t choke on
all that food you eat.

Hello, Palomita.

I don’t go by that name any more.


You will become that fancy doctor?

Never did.

Thought for sure you would.

Talked about it enough.

That’s the problem with goals.

They become the thing you talk about
instead of the thing you do.

That’s my jacket.

I looked for it for 2 weeks.

Yeah? How long did you look for me, Wray?

Only the jacket belonged to me, you didn’t.


What are you doing now?

I’m going to be a stand up comedian.


You’re not funny.

That’s what I have been
trying to tell everybody.

But they all say I’m hysterical.

But you are not.

There is a difference between being frank

… and being dick.



It was really good seeing you again.

What name do you go by now?

In case I wanna catch one of your shows.


Cherry Darling.

It sounds like a stripper.

No, it sounds like a Go Go Dancer.
There’s a difference.

You’ll always be Palomita to me.

I need a ride.

What do you say, El Wray?

I’ll give you a ride.

Goodbye, Bill.

Which means ‘See you later’ ?

Of course.

What’s up, Doc?

Your lady’s looking pretty
good there. We’re gonna see..

See if she could suck
the bend out of a river.

I’m kidding.

Take a look at that shit.

What happened to your arm?

I got bit.


Bit by what?

Well… If I told you, you probably
wouldn’t believe me.

Some bacterium or something?

Can you just sew it up?

Normally, I would.

I’d even be doing something
to stop the bleeding.

My problem is this one doesn’t bleed.

Oh shit, check this out.

When this was still a military hospital,
this one guy came back from Iraq with this.

Chronic herpetic lesions.

When he urinated, it came out
through all these little holes here.

Kind of like a fountain.

Ah, Jesus.

How did you treat it?

Fuck that, I was never in Iraq.

Good for you.

This shit they spread around
there you wouldn’t believe.

I swear to God I’ve got some Iraqi eye-balls

a friend of mine brought back
to make some studies on.

They were completely milked over.

Mustard gas does it to the eyes.
Actually, I still have those in my fridge.

Spots fly you think?

Chronic viral lesion.
That looks like gout.

He’s running a temperature of 105.

Is that bad?
– It’s high.

Bad would be 108.

You could have a seizure, go psychotic.

And probably die.

Say ahh.
– Ahhh.

Ugh! Jesus!


Black abscess tongue.

All abscesses should be drained. Period.

Shut up, Joe.


Get the needles.

Right there.

Right now.
– Asshole.

It’s spreading.

When did you say you got this bite?
– Just now.

We gotta lose the arm, Joe.

Lose arm? What do
you mean lose arm? My arm?

It’s spreading all the way
up to your shoulder.

Now if we don’t sever that arm now
it’s gonna take over your chest.

We can’t very well cut that off, can we?

Well shouldn’t I get a second opinion?

Hi Joe.

I’m going to give you a very
strong anesthetic.

So you don’t feel anything
during the procedure.

These are my friends.

My yellow friend

Is just to take the sting off.

My blue friend

You’ll barely feel.

That means my yellow friend
has already taken effect.

See how fast my friends work?

And after my red-headed friend

You’ll never see me again.

We all react differently.

Now what?

Dedicated to our own Jungle Julia.
In loving memory.

It’s not the radiator.

What? Fucking pale.



Hey, stop.


Stop please.

What the hell was that?

People picking up road kill.

What? Like an armadillo?


There are a lot of them around here.

You know I read a statistic that said

That the eating of venison
has risen 30 percent in the last few years.

Sixty percent of that’s from road kill.

People eat road kill?

If you’re driving out here
at 70 miles an hour…

… and a deer darts out in front of you

If you blink or brake or swerve …

Sure you’ll just kill yourself.

So what do you do?

Pick them off.

Just like this.

Send them flying away from you.



I thought you said if you saw a deer
you shouldn’t fucking swerve.

That wasn’t a deer.


Don’t let her die on me, Block.

What we got?
– Car accident.

Heavy contusions about the torso,
possible spinal trauma.

One severed limb.

Where is the leg?

Three ‘psychos’ attacked her.

I shot at them.

I never miss.

They took the leg with them.

You have to come with us Wray.
We need to talk about this, you know.

He has to sign her in.

Do what now?

If he’s with her,
he’s responsible for her.

He’ll fill this out after we talk. Let’s go.

What were you doing with a rifle, Wray?


Just thinking about maybe doing
some hunting when the season breaks.

Come on, Wray.

You know you are not supposed
to be doing that stuff anymore.

Here, I stick my neck out for you.

Now you’ve got a girl in your
wrecked truck with a missing leg?

A missing leg? It’s now missing?

And here you’re saying in front of everybody

that someone up and snatched it?

And that you shot at ‘em with a gun

that you never should
have had in the first place?

And that now they’re gone?

Sheriff, can we finish this
conversation somewhere else?

My thought exactly.

Dr. Block. Three fresh ones rolling in.

Christ, you’re kidding.

Automobile accident off Highway 18.


Get Andy to pick them up.

That’s unsanitary, Doc.

It helps me monitor my state of calmness.

If you get worked up enough to crack it.

You might cut yourself pretty good.

Then I’d know I was not calm.

What do you say now, Doc?

Somebody call my wife.

It’s JT, Sheriff.

JT? How is the barbecue business?

Ever since my bastard landlord
raised the rent, it’s going shit.

Well, I’m sorry to hear about that.

I wish there was something I could do.

Right now I ain’t calling my brother.
I’m calling the sheriff.

What’s the trouble?
– It ain’t no trouble, not yet anyway.

I’ve got two delinquents been hanging
around here for over an hour.

They won’t purchase.
They won’t leave.

Oh never mind, here they come.

You cook that meat at 250 degrees, don’t you?

I don’t remember.
I set the heat with my hand.

You give me that recipe or I’ll raise your
rent higher than Georgia pine.

Brother, ain’t no Texans ever gonna
give you his barbecue recipe.

That’s a fact. He’d take it to his grave.

I could be bleeding like a
stuck pig I ain’t gonna tell you.

I could be dying in your arms,
I ain’t gonna tell you.

We’ll see about that.

You gonna look?

Or you gonna eat?

You called for me?

I need for you to see this.

Looks like a no-brainer.

What does that mean?

No brain.

Scooped clean out of her skull.

.. don’t…

Don’t tell me.

Liquifactive necrosis.

Do you think?
– Oh sure.

Thank you, that’ll be all.

Did you know she was back in town?


I didn’t.

What happened to her?

I don’t know baby.

I thought you stopped seeing each other.

Oh yeah.

Yes, you have now. She’s fucking dead.

I mean we stopped before.

I haven’t talked to her in a while.

But you’ve written each other.

Here and there.

But nothing.

What are you doing?

Let me see your last three messages.

You have no right …
– I don’t?

I don’t have a right?

Show it to me.


Now that’s just to take the sting off.

Show it to me.

No please.

Show it to me.

Now let’s see how fast your friends work.

It’s pretty fast.

What do I know, my love?


That you’re a cheating …


… sack.

I didn’t want to hurt you.

But you did.


You’re insane.

And I was afraid.

Of what you might do to me.

And to our son.

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